Until Angels close my eyes
by YunieRyou
Summary: She had been fighting her sickness for years now, but she finally came to realize nothing could save her. She leaves behind her best friend and crush, Ryou. He see's no point in living, untill he opens her life...
1. Prologue

**Another story for me to write…I just got this idea and I couldn't wait to write it!**

**Anyways….here you go.**

**Until Angels close my eyes**

**Prologue:**

_**Paradise:**_

_once upon a year gone by  
she saw herself give in  
every time she closed her eyes  
she saw what could have been  
well nothing hurts and nothing bleeds  
when covers tucked in tight  
funny when the bottom drops  
how she forgets to fight... to fight _

and it's one more day in paradise  
one more day in paradise

as darkness quickly steals the light  
that shined within her eyes  
she slowly swallows all her fear  
and soothes her mind with lies  
well all she wants and all she needs  
are reasons to survive  
a day in which the sun will take  
her artificial light... her light

and it's one more day in paradise  
one more day in paradise  
it's one more day in paradise  
one last chance to feel alright... alright

don't pretend to hold it in just let it out  
don't pretend to hold it in just push it out  
don't you try to hold it in just let it out and  
don't you try to hold it in you hold it in

chorus

once upon a year gone by  
she saw herself give in  
every time she closed her eyes  
she saw what could have been

**By: Vanessa Carlton

* * *

**

Nozomi sat propped up in her hospital bed, playing with the thin gold chain around her neck. A soft knock came at the door. Nozomi's pale blue eyes shot up towards the owner of the hand and gave a soft smile.

"Ryou!" She choked out. She pulled the beanie down more tightly around her head.

"You came! I didn't think you'd want to be here when they…you know…"

Her voice trailed off as she saw the saddened look on his face.

"Here, I brought something for you." He placed the Burger King bag in front of her and took a step back.

Nozomi's eyes lit up with happiness.

"Aw! Ryou Bear…you know what I like!" she dug into the paper sack and brought out the rapped prize she desired.

"Zozo…I don't want this to happen to you." He whispered, now looking at his feet. Nozomi hesitated a moment then patted the spot next to her on the bed.

"Ryou, I know you don't. But, I have no other options. They can't save me…it's my time to go…" she whispered. Ryou stiffened at the words and turned his head away.

"Bakura will be mad…" he muttered softly.

Nozomi smiled.

"You tell that mutt he better keep his temper in check, if I find out he hurts you in any way, I'll haunt him in his sleep!"

Ryou couldn't help but laugh. Nozomi had a way with sadness, she could alter it, change it to happiness, just with a few simple words. Even if it was just for a short while.

"If only there was a cure…" he whispered while placing his hand on hers.

"Yes, I know Ryou…I wish there was too. I could do everything that I want to. You know, I still want to jump out an airplane."

Ryou gave a weak smile and patted her hand. "I'm glade you can't, you'd scare me."

Nozomi chuckled and pushed back a lock of his snowy white hair.

"You know Ryou, we've had so many good times together…I don't remember every one of them."

Ryou nodded his head in agreement. "It seems like forever since we've met…but it's only been a year…"

Nozomi shook her head and smiled. "Good times…good times."

Her small oval face was pale from lack of sunlight and her freckles stood out. If she hadn't gone bald, her long brown hair would be swaying around her shoulders.

Ryou looked away with sadness, tears forming in his eyes.

"Zozo, I don't think I'll be able to make it with out you…" he whispered while dabbing at his eyes.

Nozomi's hand darted up to his face and brushed the tears away. "Ryou…I know you can. Besides, I won't be gone; I'll always be here with you. I'll be the sunlight on a cloudy day, I'll be your umbrella in a storm, I'll be your light when you're surrounded by darkness, and I'll be your angel." And with that she pulled him into a hug.

"Zozo…" he whispered into her chest.

"Yes, Ryou Bear?" She asked with her eyes closed.

"If you had one more day to live…what would you do?" He asked, tears now sliding down his pale face.

Nozomi didn't even have to think.

"I'd stay with you…you and Bakura. We'd do everything we could in just one night. Then, I'd die a happy girl." Ryou began to shake and cling to Nozomi.

"I don't want you to die! Zozo, Please, fight it! One more day. Please!"

Nozomi gave a sad smile and patted his back.

"I have no fight left in me, you know that Ryou bear. It's my time to go…"

As if on cue the doctor walked in.

"Nozomi…are you ready?" he asked in a saddened voice. Nozomi pushed Ryou away from her and leaned over the hospital bed bar and reached into her drawer.

She pulled out a small black box and handed it to Ryou.

"Here…everything that is close to me is in here." Then she unhooked the locket that sat around her neck.

"You can open it with my heart."

Ryou felt the warm tears slide down his cheek and land on his chest. He couldn't say anything. He just nodded and clutched the necklace in his hand.

"Tell Bakura what I said…and tell him…I'll miss him." A nurse rolled a wheel chair into the room and helped Nozomi into it.

"My life is in that box Ryou bear…you take care of it."

And with that, she was wheeled away.

* * *

Ryou flung the box onto his bed and fell with it into the pillows. Tears streamed down his face and he began to shake so hard that it looked as if he was having a seizure.

"What's wrong Ryou?" Bakura said appearing in the dark room.

"She's gone! Nozomi…she's…died…couldn't fight…anymore!" Ryou choked the words out into the pillow.

Bakura just stood there watching the boy cry his sorrow dry. "Ryou…" Bakura reached his hand out to him, and then stopped. He didn't know how to comfort his host, didn't know what to say. The brown haired girl flashed in front of his eyes and sadness welcomed him.

"I'm sorry Ryou." And with that he returned to the ring dangling around Ryou's neck.

Moments later Ryou finally stopped crying and sat up. The black box still sat beside him on the bed.

'_You can open it with my heart.'_

Ryou stared at the box then finally pulled it into his lap. An odd shaped key hole sat at on the side of the box, outlined in silver with odd writing around it.

'_My life is in that box Ryou bear…you take care of it.'_

Ryou cursed under his breath. She hadn't given him a key, so how was he supposed to open it. He let out a frustrated sob and threw the box across the room.

It fell to the floor with a clatter and Ryou instantly regretted treating it in such a way. It was all he had left of his friend and secret crush.

He bent down and picked the box up with care.

'_Open it with my heart.' _

Ryou gripped the locket around his neck in understanding. He unclasped it and brought it down to the box, uncertain if it would do what he thought it would.

He slid the heart shaped locket into the odd looking hole. He held his breath as he heard a small click noise. Then the top popped open. Ryou slowly opened the box with shaky hands.

He gave a slight gasp as he noticed the familiar items of their past. Old movie ticket stubs, pictures, concert tickets, a burned CD that had their famous song on it, Stacie Orrico 'I promise.'

Ryou was overwhelmed by memories; he could remember seeing Nozomi on stage singing that song for him.

And the song had fit them perfectly.

_  
Will I always be there for you?  
When you need someone, Will I be that one you need?  
Will I do all my best to, to protect you?  
When the tears get near your eyes  
will I be the one that's by your side?  
Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?  
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?  
I promise, I promise  
I promise I will _

will I take tender care of you?  
Take your darkest night and make it bright for you  
Will I be there to make you strong and to lean on?  
When this world has turned so cold  
will I be the one that's there to hold?

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?  
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?  
I promise, I promise  
I promise I will

will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?  
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?  
I promise, I promise  
I promise I will

Yeah  
And I love you more every day  
And nothing will take that love away  
When you need someone  
I promise I'll be there for you (there for you)  
I promise

Will I be there when you call me in the middle of the night?  
Will I keep the rain from falling down into your life?  
I promise, I promise  
I promise I will

And I promise (and I promise)  
I promise (oh I promise you)  
I will be there when you call me (when you call me)  
I promise (I promise)  
I promise I will

Ryou couldn't take the pain anymore. He wanted to end his life so bad; besides, to him there was no life if Nozomi wasn't there. She had changed everything. Bakura used to beat him and Nozomi showed up and stopped him. Ryou used to starve himself, and Nozomi stuffed his little mouth. He used to be scared of the dark, and she was there with her open arms. He used to cut himself, she buried all the knifes. He used to put himself down; she was there to bring him back up. Nozomi had been the one thing good in his life, sure he had other friends, but they weren't like Nozomi, they couldn't make him laugh like she did, they didn't put chopsticks in there mouths and pretend to be a walrus. They didn't do impressions of people like she did. She was so good at them, that sometimes he wasn't sure who she was.

She was like a lighthouse in a storm, bright enough for everyone to see, especially when they get lost. Ryou shoved the box away from his body and began to sob once again. That's when the diary fell from it, opening on his floor. Ryou dried his eyes and bent over to pick up the small purple book. His eyes drifted over the page and felt sadness wash over him once again.

_January 15, 2002_

_Mother has once again ruined my life. She's moved me to Japan. Of all places! I swear…she says I need to explore the world. I can explore the world right in front of my computer. Why do you think we invented pictures! Anyways, I start school in another two days, so I better enjoy this free time while I can. Where do I begin?_

_Ah, well, I got this diary as a going away gift from my friend Jena…said I could "Pretend" I was writing a story, just that the story would be about my life. Well, there's one idea that won't work. Who wants to read about a boring 13 year old! My life is BORING!_

_Hm…I might as well pretend that I'm writing to someone. Well then…My name is Nozomi Akio Haru, I was born and raised in Seoul, Korea. My mother is Japanese and my father was Korean. Was, meaning that he died long ago, when I was 5 to be exact. But it really doesn't bother me since I never knew the man anyways. He was always gone on some Business trip._

Ryou paused then looked back down at the diary. It was as if she was still there with him. He heard her soft voice washing over him and heaved a sigh.

_I have no siblings and I would like to keep it that way. Kids annoy the hell out of me! I can't stand them._

_I'm an average student when it comes to grades, I'm no nerd! I'm still a virgin and I believe in safe sex! Who wouldn't? I don't want some 5 pound screaming banshee to crawl out of such a tiny hole…anyways… there's my first entry…I feel like taking a stroll. I wonder if I'll run into any hot guys today…heh heh!_

Ryou placed the book down and rubbed at his eyes.

"I'll read more later…I need some sleep." He placed everything back into the black box then slipped the necklace around his neck once again.

"Goodnight Zozo." He said while patting his chest.

* * *

**Well? Should I continue…read and review and I might go on! **


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 2:**

_January 18 2002_

_Shall I tell you how my day went? It was rather interesting..._

_"Angel, time to get up." My mother said brightly as she walked into my room and switched on the lights._

_"It's your first day. Aren't you excited?"_

_"Yeah. But I'm scared too." I replied_

_"Nozomi, this is a new beginning, just be yourself." She had said with a bright smile. My mother's smile always seemed to brighten me up, like the sun peeking through the clouds on a stormy day._

_After she had left my room I rushed about, tossing my clothes this way and that, until I came upon my uniform, which just happened to be the BOYS uniform, I find that I don't look good in a bow tie and skirt. YUCK. After forcing down a few mouthfuls of kimchee and rice I put on my jacket then hugged my mother goodbye. I snuggled into her embrace, not wanting to leave. She gently pulled away and handed me my book bag. Then, cupping my face in her hands. She looked into my eyes and told me that she would always be there for me and that no matter what she loved me with all her heart._

_"There's the bus, go on now." she gently pushed me out the door and gave a wave._

Ryou paused a moment then reread the date. It was the day that him and Nozomi had met. He smiled to himself as he remembered that gloomy day. "Why are you smiling Ryou...and what are you reading?" Bakura said as he appeared in the room

Ryou turned his glazed eyes to his yami and flashed him the diary.

"It was Nozomi's...want to read with me?" Bakura smiled as he sat beside his light. "Sure, maybe she wrote about me beating the snot out of you!" Ryou ignored the comment and began to read aloud.

_I jumped on the bus and spotted an empty seat right away. I dashed for it, hopping I would be the only one occupying it. Most of the kids went to the back anyways. On the way to school I just worked on my poem. I have been writing it for two years now; I'm trying to improve it. Then the bus came to a stop, in front of a rather flashy school. DOMINO JR. HIGH. Or in other words, middle school. They just add the JR HIGH to make the students feel more grown up._

_I was minding my own business, walking to my first class when I saw a rather poor puppy getting picked on by a bunch of heartless students. Any normal kid that didn't want to make enemies and wanted to fit in would have walked away. But you see, I'm not normal...I'm Nozomi! BWHAHAHA..._

_A bunch of rather large kids stood around the small fluffy dog...but it wasn't a dog...it was a BOY! He had snowy white hair and was curled up into a ball._

_"We're going to kill you!" The kids chanted as they danced around him. They grabbed his hands and feet and began to drag him away behind the building. I of course ran after them, hoping I could stop any killing of the sort. When I reached their new location they were kicking and spitting on the poor kid._

Ryou stopped reading and pushed the book away. "I can't read this...it hurts..." He handed the book to Bakura and turned away. Bakura stared down at it with curious eyes.

"Come on Ryou, please continue, it was getting really good..."

Ryou shot his Yami a heated glance then shoved his head into his pillow.

"Then you read it!" Bakura pulled the pillow out from under Ryou's head and slapped him on the head.

"Idiot! You know I can't read Japanese." Ryou shot up and glared at Bakura.

"Don't hit me!"

Bakura blinked in surprise then smiled. "Looks like Nozomi was able to change at least one thing about you."

He handed Ryou the diary then nodded his head. "Continue Ryou, I'm sure it will help ease the pain."

Ryou looked down at the diary and began to shake. He reached a hand out to grasp the book.

It hurt; he remembered that day, like it was yesterday.

He had been frightened. Being killed held the promise of relief to him. Lying on the pavement, curled up in a ball, listening to them laughing, all he could think of was how he was going to explain what happened, to his father. His jacket and pants were torn, his snowy white hair full of gravel and spit, his arms scratched and bruised.

"Ryou, you can do it..." He heard Bakura say gently. Ryou's fingers closed around the book.

"Alright, Bakura...I'll read the rest to you..."

_I did the first thing that came to mind. I ran after the biggest kid there. Which wasn't really that big._

_"Hey! Knock it off! Stop picking on him!" I yelled. I got a good punch in and shoved the kid. He ended up stumbling backwards and tripping over a stone bench._

_The others, witnessing what I did to there friend, ran off. I turned my attention to the small boy that I had mistaken for a white fluffy puppy earlier. He still sat in the fetal position, rocking back and forth until the bell rang. He sat up and opened his eyes, revealing a light shade of brown. I thought him cute and adorable...like, stuffed animal cute. He had a pale face (Not sure if it was from his beating or if that was his natural color) and a long slender nose. His hair spiked around his face and fell into his ember eyes, giving him a rather soft and girly look._

_He slowly got to his feet and looked around puzzled. _

_"Did...Did they leave?" he asked amazed. It was my turn to be puzzled, wasn't he paying attention at all?_

_"Um...yes, I scared them off..." I said, regarding him with my pale blue eyes. His eyes stared into mine and I could tell this was normal for him._

_"Thank you." He stammered. I felt out of place right then and there, watching him trying to cover his scratches and bruises._

_"Do you need to go to the bathroom?" I asked, trying to break the ice. He looked up at me once again with puzzled eyes, as if he had forgotten I was there._

_"Yes...please..."_

_I gave him the warmest smile I could muster then reached my arm out to him. "I'm Nozomi Haru...I'm new here." He blinked about a thousand times then smiled._

_"Your a girl right?" I looked down at my clothes and smiled. "Yes, I'm a girl...come on, lets get you cleaned up."_

_And that's where I end today, nothing else really happened. The boy gave me a warm thank you, and then ran off to reach his next class. So until later my mystery reader._

_-Nozomi_

"See, that wasn't so bad." Bakura said while standing. Ryou closed the book and placed it back into the black box.

"Maybe not for you...but then again, you used to beat me for pleasure."

Bakura grinned evilly then returned to the ring. Ryou sighed and placed the box under his bed.

"I'll read more...after school..." and with that, he prepared for a day of pity from his friends.

* * *

**Sorry it's kind of short...but spring break is here and I want to get out of this house soooo bad! I have a life too you know!**


	3. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2:**

"Ryou! We're sorry for your loss…Nozomi was really close to you wasn't she?" Yugi placed his hand on the boys shoulder and regarded him with sympathetic eyes.

"Thank you, and yes, she was really close to me, almost like a sister." Ryou whispered as he turned away from his group of friends.

_They don't understand…_

"We're here if you need us." Joey patted him on the back. Ryou nodded his head as he felt the tears well in his eyes.

_They can't do anything…_

"We'll always be here for you, alright Ryou?" Tea said with a reassuring smile.

_How can she be happy? Zozo died…_

Yugiand his friends glanced one last time at him then walked away, leaving him alone with his sorrow.

Ryou sighed. "None of them know what it's like…to lose your mother, and then your sister, and then a best friend…none of them know how it feels…"

He felt the warm tears slide down his face.

_But Nozomi chose death…she had a chance to live, but instead she decided to die._

Ryou looked down the long street towards his house. He and Nozomi had walked this way all the time, laughing and talking.

Ryou couldn't stand walking down the street so he turned down an alley way, taking a short cut.

When he reached his house, the first thing he did was run up the stairs and rush to the small black box that held his friends life.

* * *

_January 19 2002_

_It's very late, and I still have tons of homework... Anyway, my day was wonderful; I was walking to the bus stop when I noticed that white haired boy again. He was standing all alone by the stop sign, waiting for the bus, I guess. He wore his uniform, a new uniform considering the last one was torn. He looked sad somehow. I wanted to say something, but I felt out of place. You know, as if you don't belong. But me being Nozomi I decided I would take a risk._

"_Are you alright? You waiting for the bus?" I stopped in front of him, holding my books close to my chest._

_He cast me a shaky look and then gave a weak smile. "Oh, you're that one girl aren't you? Yes, I'm alright, and Yes, I'm waiting for the bus." I wanted to continue with the conversation, but I had nothing else to say. That is, until I saw the dueling cards in his hands._

"_Hey! You duel…would you mind teaching me? I've been wanting to learn, for like ever!" His small oval face lit up at my question and he gave a brisk nod. "Sure, I'll teach you, but I'm not as good as Yuugi."_

_I just grinned. "I don't mind, I'm sure you're somewhat good. My place after school?" I know I was kind of rushing into the friendship, but I felt bad for the poor kid and I needed a friend badly. He smiled and nodded his head. _

_When the bus arrived we sat next to each other, talking nonstop about duel monsters._

"_So, you have a mixture of spell, trap and monster cards? So in a way you're a wizard…with monsters?" I asked all confused. He nodded his head and smiled. _

"_That's it!" _

_I laughed as he closed his eyes and began to bob his head. He was so adorable that I couldn't understand how anyone could pick on him._

"_What's your name, I don't think I caught it last time." I asked while studying his face._

_He smiled and pushed out his hand towards me._

"_I'm Ryou Bakura. Everyone just calls me Ryou…" He cut himself off and looked away._

"_What's wrong? And why do they call you by your last name?" He turned back to face me, his face was paler now and he looked scared in some way._

"_I can't really explain, they just do, and I'm alright Nozomi, you don't have to worry."_

_I thought it kind of strange how he acted. But I shrugged it off._

_I have no classes with Ryou, such a bummer…but anyways, I trudged through half my day, met with him at lunch, then suffered through the rest of my classes. After school I rushed to the bus and saved a spot for him. I was so jumpy; I couldn't wait till we got to my place. When he stepped onto the bus I waved to him._

"_Over here Ryou!" He smiled and walked to where I sat._

"_Enjoy your second day of school?" He asked while getting comfortable. I stuck my tongue out and gave a loud "YUCK"_

"_All the kids here are too stuck up! I can't stand it, there's this boy I sit next to in trig, names Seto, who thinks he's the smartest person around. And his eyes give me the creeps."_

_I gave a shudder and was happy when I heard a laugh escape Ryou's lips. It was light and cheerful. I was happy to make him laugh. The bus came to a stop and I ushered him off the bus._

"_Come on!" I screamed with excitement. I couldn't wait to get him to my house. I wanted to show him all my board games and PS2 games._

_I practically shoved him down the sidewalk towards my house. When we reached my one story house I smiled and bowed to him._

"_Welcome to my palace."_

_He giggled a soft girly giggle then kicked off his shoes._

"_Come on, let's go in! I'm dying to learn these duel monsters!" I shouted as I threw the door open. My mother sat in the kitchen drinking some warm green tea._

"_Uhm-Ma! Bae-kop-pa!" I shouted._

_Ryou looked at me puzzled, and then I laughed. "I forgot to tell you, I'm from Korea…South Korea that is..."_

_He smiled and nodded his head. "Oh, what did you say to her?" I smiled at him and winked._

"_Told her I was hungry!" Ryou laughed and followed me into the kitchen._

"_Uhm-ma, can we have some Sogogi dubu jeongol and beosot jeongol?"_

_Ryou looked so cute with a look of confusion on his face!_

_Before I knew it there were two bowls of steamy food in front of us, along with a set of our best chop sticks._

"_What is it?" Ryou asked while poking at it. I laughed and took a large bite._

"_Its stuffed bean curd and beef casserole with some mushroom casserole. But wait till you come over next time, I'll feed you some Kimchi jjigae." I rubbed my stomach and smiled._

"_If you're from Korea, then why are you here?" He asked while taking a bite from the food. He had a point; the Koreans really don't like Japanese people because of the things they did to us during World War two._

"_My mother is Japanese, my father was Korean…so I guess in a way, we learned to get over our anger."_

_Ryou nodded his head and continued to eat his food. After he was finished I begged him to teach me._

"_Alright, you can only have five monster cards, and five trap or spell cards on the field. Five is your limit. And you can only hold six cards in your hand, if you have six already, then you can't draw."_

_He explained the rules to me and I just nodded my head in agreement. Once I got that down he leant me a spare deck._

"_Alright, let's Duel!" I laughed while shuffling the cards. I must say, I lasted longer then I expected…he still beat me though… (Sigh)_

_Well…then I walked him home, which wasn't that far. And now I'm so tired that I might fall asleep here and now. But I still have tons of homework! (Groan)_

_Good night my mystery reader!_

_-Nozomi_

_

* * *

_

Ryou smiled to himself as he remembered those days of going to her house. She always had some strange new food for him to try and she always lost to him at duel monsters. Not that she was training for the tournaments. Ryou sighed then placed the book back into the box.

"Hey! You read it with out me!" Bakura shouted as he appeared in the dark room.

"Nothing really interesting, just about the day I went to her house. I'll let you know when you show up alright."

Bakura grinned.

"You better, I want to know what she thought about me, I think she had a crush on me!" Ryou shot him a glare, and then turned his back on his Yami.

"Sorry Ryou, the signs were clear, her always hitting on me and all! I'm sorry if I'm better looking." He gave a roar of laughter then returned to the ring.

* * *

**I'm so stressed right now! Easter is coming up and I've been cleaning like crazy! And now I'm getting writers block…eh! When will it end!**

**R&R**

**I must say, this isn't my best chapter…**


	4. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

_January 21 2002_

_I'm still shaking from the news...Me and my mother went to see my new doctor today, at the domino hospital. He looked at my transfer files and just shook his head. Said we needed to run more tests._

_Oh...I should tell you...I have Lymphoctyic Leukemia...a type of cancer. I was diagnosed when I was 11...I still remember that day, like it was yesterday._

_I was sitting in one of those short hospital gowns, my hands wrinkled together in my lap._

_"Nozomi?" The doctor had called out as he entered the room._

_"Hey! What's up doc?" I had joked. He just gave me a grim look._

_"The Preliminary tests are back," his penetrating brown eyes looking grave with concern. My mother sat on the edge of her seat, waiting for the results, hoping it was nothing to drastic._

"_the tests point to cancer, specifically, acute lymphocytic leukemia."_

_My mother had given a gasp and her face paled. But I didn't accept it. I was in denial; I just grinned and pretend that nothing had happened._

_"H-How can dis be?" my mother asked in that strange Korean Japanese accent of hers._

_"We thought it was just the flu..." She pressed her hand to her mouth and began to shake. I think that's when it hit me. So I sat there, and said nothing. I couldn't think clearly, much less talk. After a moment of silence I finally spoke._

_"Will you be my doctor?" He shook his head and reached foreword and took my free hand._

_"You need specialists for this Nozomi; I'm just a common doctor who treats colds and minor sicknesses."_

_My mother began to sob and rock back and forth. She began to chant in a mixture of Japanese and Korean._

_"Uhm-ma! Please, I'm not dead yet!" I cried out, trying to calm her down._

_"Mrs. Haru, please, listen to your daughter, she's not going to leave you anytime soon." The doctor tried to sooth._

_He placed his hand on her shoulder. "Sanura, I know how you feel, I have a daughter myself and if I learned she had cancer I would be just as upset, but you can't act like this, Nozomi needs you."_

_I remember my mother shaking her head and glancing at me with watery blue eyes._

_"What were the symptoms that gave my sickness away?" I had asked, puzzled, still hoping it was the flu._

_"Chronic sore throat, swollen glands, weakness and constant fatigue...coupled with the unexplained bruises on your arms and legs, and bleeding without clotting..." he gave a sigh and shook his head._

_"At the hospital, they will do the bone marrow aspiration test...that will confirm the diagnosis."_

_"Those same symptoms could just be the flu." My mother cried, while standing up._

_"It isn't the flu..." my doctor said quietly_

_"How long will I be in the hospital?" I asked, afraid of the answer._

_"Until your in remission."_

_My mother looked at him puzzled. "Remission?" she asked, taking in deep calming breaths._

_"The state of keeping the cancer calls from spreading...and making your symptoms disappear." he defined._

_"When do we start?" My mother had asked._

_"Today."_

_I shot up. "That soon?" I still hadn't even told my friends or family._

_"As soon as possible. We want to get this invader before it can spread any more, the sooner the better."_

_And that's how I found out I was dying...slowly really...and I still am as I write this, it's just that it's so dormant right now that it isn't affecting me. I took Chemo...or in other words Chemotherapy, which aloud me to go into remission. I'm glade really. Chemo makes me lose tons of weight, which I don't mind, I get sick and puke all over the place, and slowly my hair falls out. Thankfully it hasn't all fallen out yet. I'm one of the lucky ones. Also, when I'm on Chemo, I have to be in the hospital in a clean environment. You see Chemo kills and weakens the cancer cells but it also does the same to my normal cells, making my immune system weak. I simply don't have the inner resources to fight off an infection, not even a simple cold!_

_But anyways, back to my news, my doctor looked at my tests and told me that my cancer was starting to show again. That it was spreading at a large rate. This means I have to go back onto the Chemo. I don't want to, this time it's going to be stronger and longer considering my Cancer is stronger._

_If my hair falls out, I'll through a royal fit!_

_Now about my day? Well, me and Ryou bear (My new nickname for him) went shopping after school. I bought my own set of cards and Ryou bear helped me build a deck. Mines made of dragons, which are the prettiest beasts alive! I envy Seto Kaiba, he has the only Blue eyes white dragons...I'll...BORROW them...because steal is such a harsh word... (Snicker)_

_Well, must go to bed, I'm feeling weak already. Goodnight my reader..._

_-Nozomi_

_

* * *

_

Bakura read the diary aloud to Bakura, tears slipping down his face. He had never really known the full story of her sickness...now he did. He had no idea that she had been on Chemo before, or how she had reacted when she had first heard the news.

"Wow, that's some powerful shit right there, that almost made me cry." Bakura said standing up and stretching.

"Is your heart that cold? You can't even cry just a little?"

Bakura glared at his host. "I saidI ALMOST did! Isn't that good enough for you, I mean this is ME we're talking about!"

Ryou shook his head and returned to the book.

* * *

_January 22 2002_

_I'm proud of myself, I've been writing in this book often! Usely I can't stick to something. But anyways, I'm worried for my Ryou bear. He came to school today with a black eye and a swollen cheek. I asked him what happened and he just shrugged it off, as if nothing had happened. But I prefer that then the old "I ran into the door" excuse. At lunch he just sat there and stared at the table top, as if his food would magically appear._

_"Aren't you going to eat something Ryou bear?" I asked him, pushing my pudding in his face. He made a face then pushed it back._

_"I'm not hungry." he whispered back to me. I didn't like where this was going. I had this weird feeling that he was starving himself. So, I set out to fix that._

_"Your coming home with me after school." I stated._

_He just nodded his head in agreement and turned his attention back to the table top. After school, we walked like normal to my place. But the moment I got him inside I shoved him down into a seat._

_"Now Ryou bear. You will eat everything that I sit before you, and then afterwards, you will sit beside me for four hours, until your food has digested!"_

_I saw his face pale as I declared this._

_"Ryou bear, if your starving yourself, you better knock it off, or I will do this every god damn day until your so fat, you can't fit through my door!"_

_And with that I placed Myulchi bokeum and sogogi jangchorim in front of him along with a glass of warm green tea._

_"Eat!" I commanded. He looked down at the food then pushed it away._

_"Please don't take this away from me..." he whispered. That's where he had me puzzled, what was I taking from him?_

_"What? I'm not taking anything from you; if anything I'm GIVING you stuff."_

_He turned his pale face away from my view and that's when I began to worry._

_"I can control just this one thing...my eating, if you take that away from me, I have nothing left..." _

_I must say, I was shocked._

_"Ryou bear, snap out of it! What do you mean by 'the one thing you can control?'"_

_"I'm fat." he whispered, and that's when I laughed. The poor boy was smaller then ME! And I'm pretty small considering of all the medical things I've been threw._

_"Ryou bear, your not fat at all! Now, EAT!" And that's when I broke out the sweets. The Yak Kwa (Cookies) and the ever famous, yet fattening TWINKIES!_

_"Open!" and when he opened his mouth I shoved one into it. Almost causing him to choke._

_"If I see you ever starve yourself again Ryou bear, then I will smack you senseless! Understood?"_

_Fear jumped into his eyes then and I didn't know what to think._

_"I was kidding Ryou bear...I would never hit you." It took him awhile to understand my words and I sighed._

_"Someone's beating you huh? Is it your dad?" Ryou swallowed the Twinkie and looked up at me with tear filled eyes._

_"No...No ones beating me...I'm fine...I got to go..." I sighed and aloud him to move away from the table._

_"Fine, but I want you to take food home with you."_

_He just nodded and headed towards the door. I grabbed a paper sack and shoved cookies, Twinkies, kimchee and his bowel of steamy food into it. I handed it to him with a warm smile._

_"You better eat it, and you better eat lunch tomorrow."_

_He gave me sad look then nodded good bye._

_You know my reader, he scares me...there's something he's keeping from me...but then it evens out huh? Cuz I'm keeping my sickness from him._

_-Nozomi_

_

* * *

_

Ryou sighed as he closed the diary.

"Ah! I'm coming up soon! I wonder what she thought about me...come on Ryou, read more! Read more!" Bakura chanted as he danced around the small room.

"No, I'm tired and I have tons of homework.

Ryou's thoughts, however were still on that day. When he left her house he threw the sack of food away, feeling a lump form in his throat. He wasn't going to ruin the one thing he could control and had been controlling for a month. The moment he reached his house he shoved his fingers down his throat, forcing the small amount of food she managed to shove down his throat up into the bowel. He remembered staring hard and long into the bathroom mirror, loathing the reflection he saw.

"Yo, Ryou! Hello!" Bakura dragged him out of his trance.

"Yes Bakura?"

"You look like your about to start spouting tears!" Bakura said with a frown.

"And? What's it to you..." Ryou sighed then turned off his light.

"Goodnight Bakura..."

Bakura stood in the darkness. "Damn your a wreck without Nozomi..."

* * *

**Well? Let me know how I did on this...I had writers block so, I thought I came out a little...dum? Oh what the heck, I'm the author, I'm not aloud to criticize it!**

**R&R**


	5. Chapter 4

**Thanks for the reviews! I got over my writers block! See I knew it wouldn't laste that long!

* * *

**

**Chapter 4:**

Ryou woke to a knock on his door. He sat up and rubbed his eyes. "Who is it?" He asked in a tired voice.

"It's me…Yugi." Ryou yawned then slowly trudged to the door.

"Yes?" Ryou asked as he slowly opened it, revealing a rather solemn Yugi.

"There, having a ceremony at the school for Nozomi…and…well since you and her were so close, we wanted to know if you wanted to set it up? You know slide shows and a speech?" Ryou shook his head.

"I don't know Yugi…"

Yugi placed a reassuring hand on his friends shoulder.

"Ryou, I wasn't really there for you when you needed me the most…I feel like a crummy friend. But Nozomi was, don't you think you at least should give her this one last thing? Allow everyone to see what she was like?"

Ryou lowered his head to look at his feet.

"Your right Yugi…I do at least owe her this…she was always there, and no matter what I said or did she never left me…"

Yugi smiled warmly and patted his back.

"I'm looking forward to your speech, I'm sure it will be wonderful."

* * *

_January 25 2002_

_He's starving himself still…he didn't take my warning. But he did get at least a little smarter…he won't come to my house! I'll change all of that! I don't care if I have to hog tie him then carry him there myself, lord knows he's light enough. It bugs me to know that he feels he HAS to starve himself, that he can't control anything in his life but his food. But I don't know what I should do to change this. You know, they say you should talk to an adult, but adults never fix anything, only make things worse!_

_Today at lunch time I forced a cup of pudding down his throat, and then afterwards he said he had to use the restroom. I knew what he was doing…but I couldn't really stop him. But I have a plan…He's staying the night…whether he likes it or not!_

_Later_

_It took a lot of convincing to get my Ryou bear to spend the night. He's been acting all weird ever since I shoved him into my house. The first thing I did was place a plate of food in front of him. This time it was cheese pizza…no one can resist cheese pizza! Or at least, I CAN'T! I made sure he at least ate one slice, then when he said he had to use the restroom I rushed into it first and locked the door. I was not going to let him continue this! Then when I came out, he was just sitting on my bed, wringing his hands in his lap._

_He looked so sad._

"_Ryou bear! I told you to knock it off! Your pathetic pleas and excuses won't work on me!"_

_He looked up at me with the cutest little face ever. He looked just like a little puppy. I must admit, my heart skipped a beat. I think I'm getting a crush on him…uh…I better not let it show!_

_Anyways, I gave a sigh and sat next to him. I pulled him into a hug and began to stroke his head._

"_What's wrong my little Ryou bear?" I whispered. He just shook his head and wouldn't say anything._

"_You've been doing this the whole time huh? Right under my nose…Ryou, it needs to stop." He still didn't say anything._

_I guess that's only fair, because I haven't told him everything yet either._

_After calming down my anger a little we played duel monsters. And once again he kicked my butt._

"_Gee Ryou bear, either I suck or it's these cards. Want to trade them and duel? Maybe I can win with your deck…"_

_Ryou just smiled and shook his head._

"_It's never the cards…it's the person using them!" I laughed and reached for his deck. The top card was 'change of heart.'_

"_That's my favorite." He whispered while looking over my shoulder. I smiled to myself._

"_It doesn't fit you Ryou bear. You don't seem the type that would turn on anyone."_

_Ryou was silent for awhile then we played the game._

_When I lost I started to through a fit._

"_Damn it! I'm so stupid!"_

_Ryou just laughed and petted my head._

"_You're not stupid, you just need to work on your logic skills…want to watch a movie?" he asked while putting away his cards. I smiled and nodded my head._

"_Sure…how about…um…Indiana Jones? I love that movie!" he gave a nod._

_I rushed around, making everything perfect. I tossed a bunch of pillows and blankets on the floor and popped a bowl of popcorn._

_Ryou is such a little scardy cat, he was clinging to me at all the pop out parts. You know, when things pop out when you least expect it._

_Well, before the movie ended he fell asleep, and now I'm writing in this book. If I could change one thing about my life at this moment, it would only be that I wasn't slowly dying. Sooner or later I'll have to tell Ryou, but for now, I won't. First I want to find out what's wrong with him. I can't let him starve and if someone's beating him I'll have to stop that too. Another thing I noticed though today, while we were eating, he has a bunch of scars on his upper arms. Why I hadn't noticed before, I don't know. But I feel like I have a lot of spying to do…oh that should be fun!_

_Night my mystery reader._

_-Nozomi

* * *

_

"Oh, I'm so going to show up soon, I can't wait! Come one Ryou, read more! Read more!" Bakura said while pushing the diary towards his host.

"Fine, but only one more entry…then I really need to work on my speech." Ryou turned the page and almost burst out into tears at what he saw. Taped to the paper was a set of pictures they had taken at the fair. Nozomi sat beside Ryou, sticking out her tongue on the first picture, the second one she was making a face and Ryou was just smiling sheepishly, the third she got Ryou to stick out his own tongue and on the forth Nozomi had kissed him on the cheek. Ryou blushed as he thought about her lips on his face.

He was even blushing in the picture.

"Oh…when was this? I must have been sleeping when this happened…"

Bakura said looking over the boys shoulder.

"It's nothing!" Ryou shouted and he turned the page to where Nozomi had written.

"Doesn't look like nothing." Bakura chuckled as he nudged Ryou in the shoulder.

* * *

_February 1 2002_

_I haven't written in forever. I must tell you everything that has happened. Well for one, I found a clump of hair on my pillow this morning, confirming my fears of losing my hair. I showed my mother and she just sobbed in sadness. So I shoved a beanie on my head and left._

_I've been shoving food down Ryou's little throat but I have a feeling he's still puking. I also got to meet his other friends. But how he can call them friends I don't know, I mean they know something is wrong with him, but yet they don't do or say anything. It's as if they are blind to his needs. I met Yugi and he seems kind enough. He was trying to help me with my dueling skills but I'm afraid there's no hope for me there!_

_Anyways, today was the big annual fair. I've been looking forward to this day! Me and Ryou plan to go on every ride till we either puke or go broke! I'm hoping it's the first; I'd rather puke then go broke. But then again, I've been doing a lot of that already. And I think Ryou's getting suspicious, me being sick all the time. I still don't know when I'm going to tell him._

_But anyways, this will be a short entry because I'm about to leave soon…actually, Ryou bear is here right now._

_I'll write later my reader. Don't you go anywhere!_

_-Zozo (Ryou's nickname for me! Sounds kind of kiddish, but I like it!)_

_Later_

_I've had enough! I'm ending this all right now! While we were running around, trying to get in the shortest lines possible, Ryou turned all pale and fainted on me. I got scared and started shaking him. But there was no use, so I had security help me drag him to a near by bench. That's when I noticed the large white bandage on his arm that was poorly tied. The bandage began to change colors, from white to red. All I could do was grit my teeth and wait for him to wake up so I could give him a taste of my mind._

_When he finally woke up he looked like a ghost, pale and weak._

"_Ryou! Damn you, no matter what I say you still don't listen. I'm sick of this, WHO'S HURTING YOU!" I screamed._

_I noticed a bunch of heads turned my way, but I didn't care. I was sick of my friend getting hurt and not telling me about it._

"_It's…It's nothing…" He stammered. But I was not fooled one bit. I grabbed his arm and pushed the sleeve of it upwards, showing him his poorly bandaged arm._

"_Ryou, I'm no idiot. There are things you're hiding from me. And there are things I'm hiding from you. Now, do you want to talk about this? Share secrets?"_

_Ryou stared up at me with wide eyes. He'd never seen me pissed before. But I had had it._

"_Who did this to you Ryou?" I shouted once again when he didn't say anything. Finally he lowered his head._

"_I did…"_

_ThisI didn't expect. "Your cutting yourself aren't you?" I whispered softly only so he could hear._

"_Yes…I do." He stammered. He wouldn't look at me, not one bit. "And?" I asked pushing the subject. Night was starting to approach and the lights from the rides popped on. Making Ryou's face glow a soft yellow color._

"_I can't explain…but…Bakura beats me."_

_Now, I know he's going crazy. HE'S BAKURA! But me being his friend I said nothing._

"_Is that all your willing to share?" I asked sitting beside him. He nodded his head._

_I sighed._

"_Then I guess it's my turn…" I trailed off; I didn't know how to tell him. Or if I should tell him. Everyone that I had ever told thought I was some kind of walking germ, that just by touching me they would get cancer themselves. But you can't. After you told someone you had cancer, they never looked at you the same again. And Ryou was so close to me and the only friend I had. I didn't want to lose him, not yet._

"_I'm sorry Ryou bear, but I can't tell you. When I'm ready I will…"_

_Yes I know, it did sound kind of odd. Me forcing Ryou to tell me his problems but then not telling him mine. But you see, his is far more serious then mine. He's hurting himself, and I can help him. As for me? I fear it's already to late._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

**Dats all folks! well, atleast for today!**


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5

* * *

**

Ryou sat on his bedroom floor, shifting through the box of pictures. Tears stung his eyes as Nozomi's face stared up at him. She always wore a smile. She refused to take a picture unless she was smiling. Ryou sighed as he placed the pictures to the side.

"I'll just work on my speech instead." he whispered to himself.

"What you going to say in it?" Bakura asked, appearing in the room. Ryou glanced up at his Yami and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm not sure yet..." he turned his attention back to the blank paper sitting in front of him. What could he say about Nozomi? She was funny, and giving. Caring and understanding...yet, when you pissed her off you had better run.

"I can't think of anything..." Ryou whispered and placed the blank piece of paper down. Bakura raised his brows.

"That's pretty sad...and you two were the best of friends?" Bakura shook his head in mock disappointment.

"Go away Bakura." Ryou said stiffly.

"No! I want you to read me more of her diary!" Bakura shouted. Ryou sighed, truth be told, he wanted to read more too. He was just overwhelmed by all the memories.

"I can't tonight; I'm swamped with homework..."

"No your not! Just read it Ryou...NOW!"

Ryou sighed and reached under his bed for the black box. Bakura smiled and flopped onto the floor, ready to hear more of the life of Nozomi.

* * *

_Feb. 3 02_

_At this moment, I feel like crap. I've been sick nonstop, and worse I found another wad of hair on my pillow this morning. I didn't show my mother, I knew that it would only end in tears. And why shouldn't she cry? I'm her only daughter. And if I die, she'll never have grandchildren, or great grandchildren._

_It makes me wonder really, what the after life is like, will I be an angel...I would like that allot. I would be able to fly. I'd watch over my little Ryou bear, make sure he ate and stopped beating himself up._

_Which, I'm still puzzled about. He's Bakura Ryou isn't he? So how, can BAKURA beat up RYOU? It's so confusing that it makes my head hurt just thinking about it. Either he's going crazy, or I am._

_Today was a rather boring day; I just spent my day with Ryou like always. And still have yet to tell him about my sickness...I probably should soon, or it will back fire on me. I just know it. Something bad will happen and it will be too late to explain anything to him._

_But how do I tell him? No, I can't be a coward. I have to tell him, and soon._

_Well, good night my mystery reader._

_Oh, p.s. I'm going to Ryou's house after school tomorrow, he doesn't know it yet...I'll tell ya how it goes..._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

"Oh, I'm coming up...hey wait; it's probably going to have that UNCLE shit in there huh?" Bakura asked while glaring at the book.

"If she put that in there, I'm going to rip the pages!"

"I don't think so Bakura! You touch this book and I'll shove my foot up your ass."

Bakura crossed his arms over his chest and gave a smug smile.

"You know, I' glade you met Nozomi, she made you tougher...stronger somehow. I like that, you should have met her a long time ago, and then maybe I wouldn't have had to beat you."

Ryou ignored his comment and flipped the page of the diary. He knew what was coming, Nozomi meeting Bakura...

* * *

_Feb 4 02_

_Damn today was interesting! Really it was! After school, instead of going to my house like I should have, I followed Ryou bear._

_"What are you doing?" he asked with a worried expression. I grinned at him and winked._

_"Zozo, your not coming home with me are you?" he asked, his eyes growing like saucers. I just laughed and patted him on the back._

_"You don't live in a box do you?"_

_He shook his head._

_"Alright then. Don't be so worried Ryou bear." Ryou's head dropped in sadness I guess and he continued to stare at his feet. We walked for about ten minutes and then he finally stopped in front of an apartment complex._

_"Cool place, got a swimming pool?" I asked searching around. He just simply nodded and opened the gate to the complex. He led me to his apartment and then paused out side the door._

_"Alright Zozo, you wanted to know who Bakura was...you can meet him." and with that he opened his door. I stepped into the dark room and looked around. But no one was there...which gave me the creeps._

_If no one was there, then that had to mean Ryou was crazy._

_"Um, Ryou bear...do you take meds?" I asked while walking around the clean yet small living room. Ryou ignored my joke and dug under his shirt. That's when I turned pale. What the hell did he think he was doing? Undressing?_

_And undressing means...getting naked...and getting naked means...well to better explain it I've made a little poem._

_Sex is math_

_Subtract the clothes_

_Add the bed_

_Divide the legs _

_And hope you don't multiply_

_But he didn't get naked, so I was getting all jumpy for no reason. Instead he pulled out some strange gold necklace thingy. I can tell you that it was real gold. I rushed over to it right away and started to play with it._

_"Oh! Cool Ryou bear...is this real? Where did you get it?" I began to stroke it with my index finger._

_"My father got it for me...and it's Bakura."_

_Ok, now I knew he was going insane. A necklace CAN NOT be a person. Well, Ryou proved me wrong. He held it in his hands and stared down at it._

_"Bakura, Nozomi wants to meet you." he said in a soft whisper. At first nothing happened and then the necklace began to glow. I rubbed my eyes a few times, not sure if I was dreaming or not._

"_Jumping jelly beans!" I breathed as a shape began to take form in front of me. Finally the glowing light disappeared and another Ryou stood in front of me...except he was much older looking, and dare I say, HOT! I just stood there, looking from one to the other, blinking nonstop._

_"So...your Bakura...and he's Ryou..." now, at first Bakura didn't say anything. But then he got this evil glint in his eyes and glared at me...ME! It reminded me instantly of the Change of heart card. Ryou was the light side, the angel, and this BAKURA was the dark and evil side._

_"Hello there, you must be Ryou's little friend, he's gotten many beatings because of you."_

_Because of me? What did I ever do wrong?_

_"You BEAT him?" I roared. I shot Ryou a heated look. He cringed under my look and I instantly regretted looking at him like that._

_"How dare you!" I yelled. I stepped up to face Bakura, our noses almost touching. He had a straight face for a moment then he began to laugh._

_"Ryou? Where did you find this girl? I like her."_

_Now, anyone else would be flattered that a Yami liked them, but I was pissed. But I really couldn't take him on, considering I was on Chemo again and I had lost a ton of weight. So I did the best I could without having to tackle him. I grabbed his arm in one swift movement and twisted it behind his back._

_"What the fuck!" he roared as I managed to slam him into the wall._

_"SAY UNCLE!" I yelled pushing all of my weight into his back. He let a low growl escape his lips and glared at Ryou. I pushed him harder into the wall and brought his arm up more._

_"SAY UNCLE! Say it! Uncle, uncle, uncle, UNCLE!" I chanted. Poor Ryou was paler then Michael Jackson, his eyes big like donuts._

_"I'm going to beat the living shit out of you Ryou!" Bakura roared, his face flaming with anger._

_"Eint! Wrong answer!" I shouted into his ear. He broke my grip on his arm and twirled around before I could land a blow at him. He grabbed my arm this time and pushed me into the wall._

_"You stupid little bitch!" he screamed into my face. Now I had had enough._

_"Get your hands off me!" I screamed while punching out at him. He dodged my blows and grabbed my hands. But I managed to wiggle my hand free and twist his arm back once again._

_"Say UNCLE." _

_He gritted his teeth and whispered 'Uncle'_

_"Now, Ryou bear, if he ever hits you again...just say UNCLE!" and with that my day ended happy._

_Good night Reader._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

"Damn! She put UNCLE in there!" Bakura roared. Ryou smiled to himself.

"I'll never forget that day...Never." Ryou closed the book and placed it back into the box. Bakura eyed it, glaring at it.

"Touch the book Bakura and I'll make you say Uncle!"

* * *

**So, so tired...thanks for the reviews...I feel loved! Really I do... (Sob)**


	7. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6:**

_Feb 6 2002_

_I've been feeling…rather…unwell. I found more hair on my pillow and this time I began to cry. It's now clear to me I'm going to be bald. And Ryou bear has been asking me tons of questions. Like why I keep skipping school? Or why I'm getting so thin? Or why I wear a beanie all the time..._

_I want to tell him, I really do…but in a way I'm scared he'll reject me like all my other past friends. Well, no, I won't call them friends. They don't deserve the title._

_They can be called Jackass mother fuckers for all I care!_

_I've been stuck in this bed all day, my mother made me. She doesn't want me to end up passing out while I'm at school. Its funny really, I'm slowly dying and nobody knows._

_I need to stop writing right now…my hands starting to shake and I feel dizzy. I'll write later when I feel better._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

Ryou stared at the page.

"This is it…this is where I find out she's sick." He whispered to no one in particular. Bakura glanced up at the boy.

"Oh, is this where she ended up in the hospital?"

"Yes, it's the part where she almost died…"

* * *

_Feb 12 02_

_I'm still a little weak from everything that has happened. But, I need to write this down before I forget everything._

_Ryou knows now. And sadly I wasn't the one who told him. It makes it easier on me, but that's a coward's way out._

_I was sitting in my room, I think on Feb. 7, and I was just listening to some music while I played with my balding hair. My mother came into the room with a tray of some green tea and kalguksu (noodle soup with vegetables). She asked how I was doing and placed the tray on my bed. She pulled out a thermometer and slipped it into my mouth. She waited until it beeped then pulled it out. She gave a gasp._

"_Baby! You have 104.5 fever!"_

_I just shrugged. Chemo had caused me to have fevers before. But, this one was different._

"_So? What's knew?" I asked weakly. My mother's cool hands brushed my brow and her eyes look worried and concerned._

"_This one's bad Nozomi, you may be coming down with an infection."_

_That's when I started to panic. I knew it was dangerous to get and infection while taking Chemo._

"_I'm calling the doctor!" My mother screeched and she rushed out of my room. And just as she was leaving Ryou bear showed up with all my homework._

"_Hey Zozo. You feeling any better?" he asked while placing the stack of books on my desk. I just gave a weak grunt and closed my eyes._

"_What's wrong Zozo?" He asked stepping to my side. I tried to speak, but no sound came out._

_Why couldn't I answer him!_

"_Nozomi…your scaring me." His voice said from far away. That's when my mother burst into the room._

"_Oh Ryou, help me get Nozomi into the car…she needs to get to the hospital."_

_I wanted to tell her NO but I couldn't. I was fine in my own bed! I didn't want to go back to that hell hole where the food tasted like it had been either undercooked or overcooked, and where doctors poke you with needles all day. Just the thought gives me the shivers._

_But I was too weak to say anything. To weak, tired, cold and hot._

_From far away I heared Ryou call my name. And it sounded like he was crying…_

_After that I only remember some small details. I remember sitting in the back of the car, holding onto someone's hand. Ryou's I think. Then when we reached the hospital I was placed onto a bed by strong cold hands. The bed started to roll down the hall way and towards the elevator. The lights overhead flowed past me like a stream. I had to shut my eyes against the glare. I felt like I weighed a ton, I couldn't manage to move at all. The rolling bed stopped in a more quiet room, and the lights were dimmer._

_I heard someone whisper my name beside me, but I couldn't tell who it was. I was hopping it wasn't Ryou bear; I didn't want him to see me like this._

_Hands lifted me again and placed me onto a bigger bed. There were machines and a curtain around the bed. I felt surrounded by nurses and doctors. All of them poking at me with either needles or fingers. I wanted to yell at them, to tell them to stop touching me but I couldn't speak._

_Then someone ripped my shirt off and attached little metal cups to my chest. Now I really hope that Ryou bear wasn't there, considering they took off my bra as well. Wires led from the cups to the machine next to me. It began to make this annoying bliping noise that drove me insane. That's when I realized it was my heart monitor. I'm looking at it right now and the little green line that's flashing over it._

_Now why did they want to watch my heart beat? I have Leukemia! Not a heart attack…_

_Then I felt a needle being stabbed into my arm. I looked up with my eyes and saw the red fluid gushing into my arm._

"_We're giving you blood, your blood count is really low." A nurse said while petting my hand. I half heard her, because I was already drifting off to sleep.

* * *

_

Ryouclosed the diary and flung it across the room.

"Hey what was that for!" Bakura asked as he watched it fall to the floor. Ryou's face was twisted in anger and sadness.

"She almost died, and I didn't even know! I could have lost her that day! She scared me!"

Bakura picked up the fallen diary and glanced down at it.

"But you didn't Ryou…you didn't. So there's no point in being upset."

Ryou sneered at his Yami.

"How would you know! You didn't give a lick if she died back then!" Bakura's eyes darkened.

"And how would you know?"

Silence sat around them for a good twenty minutes. Ryou sighed then tore the diary away from Bakura's hands.

* * *

_While I was in limbo, I had the weirdest dream. Ryou was in it. And, dare I say this, we were on a date. He looked so cute in a black tux. I wore a long fluffy pink dress. Which I don't understand because I hate dresses! I and Ryou began to dance around and we were laughing. But then, Ryou disappeared and BAKURA showed up. Now he was in the black tux, dancing around with me on the dance floor. I knew it had to be a dream, because he looked to nice. He was actually smiling, not an evil smile, but an actual happy smile. Dare I say this…but I think I'm developing a crush…_

_Anyways, I was asleep for a couple of days…not really sure how many. And I have yet to see Ryou or my mother…they won't let anyone visit yet. I'm afraid. I don't know how I'll tell Ryou bear._

_But why should I be afraid…He's nothing like those jackass mother fuckers! He's my little bear. My little Ryou bear._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

"WHAT! Me dancing around with her? In a TUX!" Bakura asked with his mouth hanging open. Ryou smiled and closed the book

"Yes, she had a crush on you Bakura!"

Bakura smiled." Told you so! I'm so much hotter then you." Ryou looked away from his yami.

He had had a crush on Nozomi, but sadly she didn't see him that way. Only as Ryou, her younger brother. Ryou sighed and turned to his speech.

"So, what you got so far?" Bakura asked as he leaned back on the bed.

"I opened it with one of Nozomi's poems…"

"_Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."_

Ryou glanced up at Bakura

"There's more…" He trailed off. Bakura nodded his head and urged him on.

Ryou took a deep breath.

"Nozomi Aiko Haru was in truth an Angel in Disguise. I still remember how we met. She saved me from the torture of bullies, and from myself. Before, I was lost in total darkness and then she turned on the light. She was the one thing that saved me from myself."

Ryou sighed and placed the paper down.

"That's all I have…"

Bakura grinned "You should add that she was sexy looking even without her hair!"

* * *

**Rampant Chaos: Thank you! I'm glade you like my sad story! Funny really, Nozomi is really what my personality is…**

**Pharaohatemusqueen: thank you! I'll keep writing!**

**Panmotto: I'm updating as fast as my fingers will let me!**

**Josy: Ryou's supposed to come off weak…we'll when Nozomi first meets him, then you see how he changes. Becomes tougher and no longer afraid.**

**Jessica: Thanks, I was having doubts about it.**

**Jubilee wondergal and virgo: Ya, I felt like doing a sad fanfic. I started crying while writing it…I'm so sensitive.**


	8. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

_Feb 14 2002_

_Today I will be seeing my mother and Ryou, that's if he comes to visit. Right now I'm sitting propped up in my hospital bed. Flowers surround me, from people I don't even know. How could so many people know about my sickness? I have told no one...unless somehow Ryou told..._

_Well it's only fair; i kept it from him...from everybody. And now when I go back to school everyone will be looking at me weird._

_I've been so shaky today. I'm still trying to put my words together for Ryou bear. I still don't know what he thinks...if he's mad at me or not._

_I don't want Ryou bear to see me, I look horrible, but I know that I have to speak to him. Confront him about my sickness, and explain my story. It can't be put off any longer. I don't think he'll recognize me..._

_I was looking in the mirror, and almost didn't recognize myself. For a full minute I didn't know who the girl was staring back at me. If the image hadn't moved when I moved I would not have believed that it was truly me._

_I look like a victim of a concentration camp, gaunt and thin. My skin is stretched across my bones. My skin is pale and ashen, and seems transparent. It looks as if it might tear if I press to hard on it. My lips are chapped and cracked, and what's left of my hair is dull and flat._

_I'm truly ugly now, not that I was ever pretty to begin with._

_When I told my nurse this she just smiled and patted my head._

_"Your alive." was her only reply. I know looks can come back...but must I really talk to Ryou looking like Frankenstein? And if Ryou doesn't laugh, I know Bakura will. But once my Chemotherapy is done, my looks will be back...I hope…_

_Now to turn the subject, I was digging through my flowers and get well baskets when I came across a card from Ryou bear. It was a cute card, with a bear on it. It made me smile as I realized its meaning._

_Zozo,_

_Get well soon. I'll come to see you as soon as they'll let me._

_Love,_

_Ryou Bear_

_I know it wasn't much, but it's the thought that counts. Besides, I hid this from him. And what was I expecting him to say? Hey Zozo don't die? Or why the hell didn't you tell me Zozo? His simple writing tells me he's scared and confused. Which he should be. This kind of just sprung on him without a warning._

_Well...I'll write later...after I speak with Ryou. I have a feeling this is going to be very uncomfortable. If worst comes to worse...I'll pretend I'm tired...it always works, and I'm great at fake snoring._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

Ryou's fingers glided over the cream colored paper. "Zozo, it's as if your still here with me...even though your not." Ryou sighed and turned the page.

"So, have you thought of any ideas yet?" Bakura asked while sitting back in his chair. Ryou shook his head.

"I'm hoping that reading her diary will give me some. The ceremony is only a few days away. And I still haven't made the slide show yet, let alone pick the song to go with it. It's all very frustrating!" Ryou gave a frustrated cry and tugged on his white locks.

"Don't stress over it Ryou. In the end you'll pull through and it will come out perfect, like always. You're good at pulling all nighters." He waved his hand at the diary still in his hands.

"Well? Are you going to continue? I must say, this is really interesting. You should have it published."

Ryou glanced down at the diary. "Should I?" he asked in a soft confused voice.

"I was kidding Ryou _bear!_ Just read the damn book already." Bakura folded his arms under his head and closed his eyes, waiting for the boy's voice to float in the air.

"Don't call me that! Don't ever call me that again!" Ryou shouted instead. Bakura's eyes popped open in surprise and stared at Ryou.

"What the hell is your problem? Don't call you what?" Ryou held firmly onto the diary, his knuckles turning white.

"Don't ever call me RYOU BEAR again!" Bakura blinked in surprise then smiled. "Alright, I get it. Just read the book...don't need to get your panties in a bunch."

* * *

_Feb 15 2002_

_Ryou came last night...he looked, sad. He kept looking at the floor and playing with his hair._

_"Ryou bear...please, come here." I said while patting a free space on my bed. He slowly trudged to my bed and sat down slowly. He still wouldn't look at me, making me feel even guiltier._

_"I'm sorry, Ryou. I should have told you...that day at the fair would have been the perfect time. But I chickened out. I was afraid of what you would think of me. I should have known better, and now I've betrayed our trust...our friendship. I'm sorry Ryou...will you forgive me?"_

_Silence greeted my apology and I felt as if I had been struck in the heart with a sludge hammer. Which I'm sure would hurt. Finally he looked up at me with watery brown eyes._

_"Zozo, I forgive you...I understand, you were scared. And I'm sure that your past friends didn't take it to well. I just wish you would have told me sooner, but then again I didn't tell you about my problems. Zozo, I must be honest...I cut myself...starve my self...I'm bulimic...and I'm always in a state of depression...except when I'm around you. Nozomi, I thought I almost lost you..."_

_Tears that he had been holding back now slid down his face. "I wanted to tell you about my problems...but I just couldn't...and now that...this happened..." this is where I reached out to him. I grabbed him into the warmest hug I could give. We sat like that for the remaining time of his visit. When we pulled away I patted his spiky hair down and smiled._

_"I'm glad we had this talk...now...when I get out of here, there are going to be many changes...be ready for them..." Ryou smiled and wiped at his still watery eyes._

_"Did my ugly face make you cry?" I laughed. He gave a weak, unsure smile and shook his head._

_"Looks will come back. Remember, 'Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,'" He quoted with a large smile "I think you're absolutely gorgeous." this made me smile and somewhat blush._

_"Thanks Ryou bear...that makes me feel better, really it does." He smiled and left my room with a wave. After he left my mother showed up with tons of food. Which I'm grateful for! HOSPITAL FOOD TASTE LIKE SHIT! They say it's good for you, but I think if anything, they're trying to kill us off faster!_

_And I'm pleased with my somewhat complete poem. Soon it will be finished and I'll copy it down in here._

_Well, this is where I end today...I'll write more when I have the energy._

_Good night my mystery reader, who ever you are._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

"AWWW!'_I think you're absolutely gorgeous!'" _Bakura cooed while fluttering his lashes. Ryou shot him a glare. "Don't make fun of the truth. She was pretty and you know it."

Bakura grinned. "More like she was sexy...she had a body that made Britney Spears look like a man. Not that I was looking or anything..."

Ryou ignored his perverted yami and placed the diary back into the black box. "I wonder what this writing means...I think it's in Korean..." Ryou said brushing his fingertips over the engraving. Bakura glanced over his shoulder and peered at it. He shrugged then sat back.

"Why don't you ask her mother...wouldn't she know what it means?"

Ryou nodded his head in agreement and placed the box under his bed. "I will, when I see her tomorrow."

Bakura nodded his head then gave a yawn.

"See ya later Ryou, I'm tired." and with that he disappeared into the ring, leaving behind a rather sad Ryou.

"Zozo..."he whispered

* * *

**That's where I end today! I'll write more tonight! R&R!**


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8:**

_Feb. 18 2002_

_Freedom! FREEDOM! No more hospital food that tastes like shit, no more being stabbed by needles, No more nurses hovering overme and no more stupid machines that beep at you nonstop! I'M FREE! _

_My mother picked me up at noon and drove me home. It felt so wonderful to feel the wind on my face. _

_I made my mother drive me home first before dropping me off at Ryou bear's. I wanted to surprise him with a visit! I rushed into my house, took a shower and then changed into my freedom clothes. (Civilian clothing)_

_When I reached Ryou's place, everything was gated. I threw my bag of goodies over the fence then climbed it. Of course, I did all this once my mother left. Anyways, I started searching for his apartment complex. I had forgotten where he lived; I'd only been there once! But soon I found it. How could I have missed it? It was the only apartment building that looked dark and scary... (Shiver) Curtains covered every window and a 'DO NOT DISTURB' sign was hanging on the door._

_What a wonderful place to live, for Bakura that is. I can't imagine Ryou living there. _

_Anyways, I knocked on the door and put my hand over the peep whole. Like I said, I wanted to surprise him. I heard someone slowly trudge to the door and give a curse. Then the door slowly opened. But instead of Ryou, it was a rather tired looking Bakura._

_"UNCLE!" I shouted and his eyes narrowed._

_"Damn bitch!" and he slammed the door in my face! Let's just say, I have plans for my revenge! Five minutes later Ryou opened the door, with big wide surprised brown eyes. I smiled and opened my arms._

_"I'm back!" I squealed. Ryou pushed the door open and stepped back to let me in._

_"NO! Don't let the demon in!" Bakura shouted while darting to the door, hoping he could slam it shut. But I was already in._

_"I missed you too Bakura!" I said flashing him a sweet yet fake smile. He grumbled under his breath and trudged into the kitchen._

_Ryou smiled and gave me a hug. I hugged him back and patted his head._

_"I'm staying the night...which reminds me..." I stormed towards the kitchen and headed for the utensils drawer. I grinned when I found the knifes. Bakura just glared at me while he drank from the milk carton._

_"Do you know how many germs are in there?" I asked while tugging the drawer from the cabinet. He didn't say anything, just continued to chug and glare. I shrugged my shoulders then stomped out into the living room, towards the door. Ryou looked at me with wide eyes._

_"What are you doing?" he asked as I opened the door with my foot._

_"Changes! Remember? Told ya to be ready for them!" I smiled and stormed out of the complex. I looked around to see if there was a dumpster, but there were none. Where the hell do these people dump their trash? So I decided I'd have to dig a hole and toss them in. hopefully no one will dig them up._

_So, I went to digging with my hands, cuz I didn't have a shovel. Ryou just stood in his door way, staring at me as I tugged at the soil._

_"You could help you know!"I said flinging a clod of dirt at him. The dirt flew into his hair, causing the white locks to turn a dark brown. I laughed as he brushed it out of his hair._

_"That wasn't very nice..." he said kneeling down to me and picking up a clod himself._

_He tossed it towards me but I dodged it._

_"You should work on your aim!" I laughed _

_Finally, after digging for an hour I finally buried the knifes._

_"I need a shower!" I said trying to brush the dirt off me. We went back into his house and he showed me to the bathroom. "Here are some towels and some washrags...I promise that Bakura won't peek!"_

_I gave him a sly smile._

_"Who said I didn't want him to?" And with that I laughed. I was just kidding, but the look on Bakura's face kind of made me think he wasn't...I hope he can't see through walls!_

_After my shower I went out into the living room. Ryou was by himself, cooking in the kitchen. He looks so cute in a apron. He's making steak and some side dishes...apparently steak is Bakura's favorite..._

_Well, that's all that has happened and I've been sitting here writing, waiting for dinner. It smells so good...my mouth is watering!_

_-Zozo

* * *

_

"I wonder if Zozo got to bean angel like she wanted." Ryou asked while looking towards the ceiling. Bakura snorted. "She isn't an angel...if anything she's Satan's little helper."

Ryou glared at his yami.

"So, did you find out what her box says?" Bakura asked while shoving a Twinkie into his mouth.

Ryou nodded his head, and then tore the Twinkie from his mouth. "You'll make me fatter!"

Bakura eyed the Twinkie in his hikari's hand. "You need the extra fat!" he snatched the Twinkie back and shoved it down his throat before he could grab it again.

Ryou sighed then turned to look at the box.

"It says:

_**Life is too short**_

_**Don't waste a minute**_

_**Enjoy each day**_

_**And everyone in it**_

_**Tomorrow will come**_

_**It could be your last**_

_**Make the most of today**_

_**Life passes to fast.**_

Bakura nodded his head and turned to the book. "So true...ok, now read on!"

* * *

_Feb 19 2002_

_BAKURA IS A PHSYCO! Let me start off from the begging. Ryou had just finished making dinner. He called me and Bakura to the table, which was decorated with flowers and plates heaped with food. I almost fainted when I took the first bite. It was amazing. _

_"Want to get married Ryou bear?" I asked, of course I was kidding. But he turned a dark pink. Bakura didn't even say a word of praise. He just scoffed it down._

_"HEY! Manners!" I shouted while nudging him in the side. He began to choke on the food he was eating then shot me a glare._

"_Well...I'm waiting." I said while tapping my fork on the side of my plate. His eyes narrowed towards me and held resentment._

_"It's...go...goo...good..." he choked out the words then turned back to his plate of food._

_"And?" I asked while grabbing his fork. He stared at my hand in shock as it wrapped around his._

_"And what? Bloody hell! I said it was GOOD!" I smiled and began to shake my head._

_"Manners! Say thank you." he gritted his teeth and turned to face Ryou._

_"Your damn fucking food is good, thank you! Now," he turned to face me "Let go of my hand Bitch!"_

_I smiled at him and held tighter. "And if I don't want to?" I asked, giving him a wide smile. "Then I'll make you!" he grabbed my hand with his free one and tore my fingers off his. I must say, that his hands were rather large...and large hands mean...uh anyways... (Yes, I know for sure now that I like him)_

_We went into the living room and I challenged Ryou to a duel. But he had a better idea._

_"How about me and Nozomi against you Bakura?" Ryou asked with a large smile._

_Bakura snorted. "You two wouldn't last a second. But if you feel like losing, alright then. LET'S DUEL!" He paused then an evil smirk cover his face. "Lets make it interesting...if I win, Nozomi has to do whatever I say...if I lose, which I highly doubt, I have to do whatever she says...deal?"_

_I reached my hand out to him. "Deal."_

_I laughed as he brought out his deck, it was kept in a box...I keep mine in my purse..._

_He carefully shuffled his deck, along with Ryou._

_By the rate they were going, we'd never get to duel. So I shuffled mine the faster way, but...you have to bend them..._

_Bakura's eyes widened when he saw me bend them as I shuffled._

_"What? I'm just shuffling..." he grabbed my hands and pulled them away from my cards. "You DON'T BEND THEM!" he roared. I just laughed and pulled my hands away._

_"I'll do whatever I damn well please with my cards!"_

_That's when Ryou got into the conversation._

_"Haven't you heard of the heart of the cards?" he asked glancing at my bent cards._

_"Noooo...they're just PAPER!" I shouted. I frowned at them and tapped my foot._

_"Are we going to duel or not? Come on, I want to kick Bakura's ass!" They finally got over their shock and started to play._

_Sadly, Bakura won...like he said he would. "Ok, Nozomi...you have to strip down to your undies and run down the street screaming that you L-O-V-E M-E!"_

_I stuck my tongue out and gave a loud yuck. He just grinned and stood back, waiting for me to undress. I turned my back to him and faced Ryou._

_"Close your eyes, Ryou."_

_Ryou clamped his eyes shut and I began to shed my clothing. I could feel Bakura's eyes on my backside._

_"Jackass!" I screamed over my shoulder. He just laughed and continued to stare. Thankfully I wasn't too skinny. I still had my girly figure._

_After my clothing was gone, and I wore only my bra and underwear, I walked to the door. I took in a deep breath. "Alright, here I go!" I shouted. I began to run down the cold streat. I laughed; because there was no way in hell I was going to shout that I loved Bakura. So instead..._

_"BAKURA'S GAY! A FAG! A BOOTY BANDIT! A FUDGE PACKER!" Children playing at the park stopped and stared at me with their mouths hanging open. I just laughed and headed back to the apartment. Bakura was leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. And Ryou stood by the door, clapping his hands in amusement._

_"Very funny." Bakura snorted then went into the house._

_When it was time to go to bed, Ryou let me have his bed. I was grateful, because me and the floor to match._

_Anyways, you know that feeling you get when you know someone's watching you...well, I got that feeling while I was sleeping. Don't ask how. But I woke up and almost screamed. Bakura was standing over me...just staring._

_"Bakura! What the hell are you doing?" I asked while sitting up. He pushed me back down and smiled._

_"Watching you...go back to sleep." I laid my head back down and narrowed my eyes at him._

_"How the hell am I supposed to sleep with you hovering over me like this? Go away!" I shouted. Ryou lay on the floor sleeping like a baby._

_"Don't wake Ryou." he whispered while getting closer to me. I scooted away from him and began to through pillows at him._

_"Go away you psychotic freak! Do you watch everyone sleep?"_

_He grinned. "Nope, just you." and with that he disappeared. I didn't tell Ryou this morning, but why should I? It's not like he can do anything anyways._

_Well, that's where I end today. I'm about to make breakfast for Ryou and sadly, Bakura._

_CIAO_

_-Zozo

* * *

_

Ryou let the diary fall from his hands.

"You! You were watching her sleep? What the hell?" Bakura smiled at his stunned hikari.

"What? She looked so cute, and besides...I was bored. You get tired of staying in your soul room after awhile. You know there isn't any cable in there."

Ryou flung the nearest object he could find, at Bakura's head.

"No wonder she didn't want to ever spend the night!"

Bakura laughed. "That's a lie and you know it. She was over all the time! I have a feeling it was because of me!" he grinned and flashed Ryou his open hands.

"She did mention my big hands...you know what she was thinking right?"

Ryou covered his ears. "I don't want to hear it!"

Bakura smirked.

"You know, we may share the same body, but there are some differences...my size down there just happens to be one of them."

* * *

**Well, here's another chapter. Read and review. The more reviews, the more I'll write! heh heh!**


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_Feb 25 2002_

_I found a hunk of hair on my pillow again. This time I started to cry...I really am going bald and there's nothing I can do about it but place a beanie on my head. I don't want people to know about this either...do you know how many people would point and laugh? I guess I won't need my combs anymore._

_How cruel it is to go bald at 13! I'm not even old enough to drink! So, this time I showed my mother the hunk of hair, and this time she didn't cry, like I thought she would. She just grabbed my hand and began to stroke it._

_"Uhm-Ma! This isn't fair! It just isn't fair!" I screamed while tossing the chunk of hair into the trash. She patted my hand and pulled me into a hug._

_"It's just hair. It will grow back."_

_"I want it to grow back NOW!" I know I sounded childish, but no one wants to be bald and laughed at. So my mother pushed me off of her and walked to the phone._

_"I have an idea." She said while pulling out the phone book._

_Minutes later I was in our car, heading for Ryou's house. I hopped the fence once again and rushed to his door. I pounded on it and kicked it a few times._

_Ryou finally answered it, looking puzzled._

_"Come on sleepy head!" I grabbed him and rushed towards my mothers awaiting car._

_"Where are we going?" he asked, still trying to fully wake up._

_"To get our hair cuts...both of us! You need one!" I laughed as he began to play with his long snow white hair. "But I like my hair the way it is!" Ryou protested. I just grinned._

_"Ryou bear, you look like a girl. Were going to make you look like a man!" And I shoved him into the car._

_When we got to the hair salon I was the first to go. I held my head up high and sat in the chair, pulling off my beanie. The lady hesitated for a moment then placed the apron around me. Ryou stared at my head, shock apparent on his delicate face._

_"Chemo, Ryou...Chemo." Was all I whispered. And he seemed to understand. His face dropped sadly and he began to play with his own hair. I looked away, because I didn't want to see him twirling those long thick locks of soft hair. _

_The lady went to work on my thin hair. She lightly dragged a comb through it and large clumps fell to the floor. I was trying my hardest not to cry, but it as so hard. I held my hand out, beckoning Ryou to hold it. And he did. He sat there and stoked it as clump after clump fell to the floor. She snipped, cut and shaped my remaining hair into a short bob. So short that I look like a boy._

_"This should help some; at least it will be less noticeable."_

_I looked at myself for a long time, and then turned to Ryou with a large smile._

_"Looks like we traded spaces Ryou. You look like a girl and I look a boy." The corners of his mouth twitched into a smile but then it disappeared._

_"You next?" The woman asked, glancing at his long hair._

_"Yes, just a trim though, we like his hair long." I said jumping out of the chair._

_Once we were done my mother drove us to a wig shop._

_"Uhm-Ma! What are we here for? It's not Halloween!" I cried while jumping out. She smiled sadly._

_"It's for when you go completely bald Nozomi."_

_Ryou was silent and trudged behind me. I can imagine how he feels...I did kind of drag him into this. But I wanted him here with me while I went through this._

_I rushed down every aisle, brushing my hands on the silky hairs._

_"What about this?" I cried as I tugged on a long wig that was a bright red._

_"I've always wanted to be a red head." Ryou looked at me funny._

_"Uh, Zozo, you look like a clown...I don't like clowns." I laughed then tossed the wig aside._

_"Oh! How about this!" That's when I pulled on a jet black one that barely covered my ears._

_"Now you look like an elf!" he laughed while pointing._

_I giggled and tossed that one to the side as well. "Oh, Look at this!" I cried and pulled on a chestnut colored piece that cascaded down my shoulders._

_"Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair!" Ryou quoted with a smile. That's when it caught my eye._

_"You think all those were funny? How about this. It fits me don't you think?" I tugged the pink and blue hairpiece that poked in thick spikes off the rack and shoved it on my head._

_"You'll poke someone's eye out!" Ryou gasped._

_I laughed and began to dance around in it._

_That's when Bakura decided to show up. He stood in the middle of the room, arms crossed over his chest._

_"What the hell are you doing?" he asked, watching me twirl around the room like a freak. I stopped and glanced at him._

_"What does it look like I'm doing? I'm dancing!" I laughed and grabbed his hands. I began to twirl him with me._

_"What the hell! Let go of me! Stop it, you stupid bitch!" he tried to tug his hands away from me, but I held fast. The room swirled around us and I grew dizzy. But I still twirled around. Finally I stopped and dropped his hands. He looked like he was going to puke._

_"Dat was FUN!" I squealed and fell forwards on him. He fell backwards, landing on his back, me on top of him._

_"Oops, my bad!" I said trying to push myself back up. But I couldn't, the room still swirled around me._

_"What's wrong with you? Do you have any mental disabilities?" he asked glaring up at me._

_"Nope! I'm all sane!" I said while dropping my head on his chest. I was beginning to feel exhausted. Ryou cleared his throat._

_"Uh, are we going to find a wig or not?" He asked. I glanced up at him and smiled. "Don't worry, now we have Bakura's help...want to help Bakura?" I asked glancing back down at him._

_He smiled evilly. _

_"Nah, I want to stay right here...like this...with you..." I smacked him and jumped to my feet. "Nasty!" I laughed. Bakura stumbled to his feet, swaying every now and then, which made me laugh._

_"Why do you need a wig...going bald are we?" I know he meant it as a joke, but it didn't hit that way..._

_"Yes, actually, I am...so will you help me or not?" I asked turning away from him, hoping he wouldn't see my tears. Bakura was silent and when I turned around he had a look of sympathy on his face._

_"Don't feel sorry for me!" I shouted while stomping my foot._

_"Who said I feel sorry for you! I feel sorry for all the poor animals that had to give up their hair for these wigs."_

_I glared at him. I couldn't really say nor do anything, so I just glared. Finally I and Ryou bear started looking once again. But we couldn't find any that matched me and my complexion._

_"I want to try something different!" I pouted as we searched through the last stack of wigs._

_"How about this?" Bakura called out while walking towards us. He held a dark brown, curly wig that would hang just above my shoulders._

_"I think you'll look good in curls." Ryou said while taking the wig from Bakura's hands. Bakura growled at Ryou then turned his head away._

_I might be dreaming this, but I think they were fighting over me...nah, I'm just seeing things._

_Anyways, it looked perfect on me! Besides, brown is my natural color. So I snuggled it down on my head and ran to a mirror to primp._

_"It looks wonderful!" I cried as I studied myself. The curls looked as if they were my own. They bobbed with life as I ran my hands through them._

_"Yes, this one will do. Thank you Ryou bear, Bakura."_

_And so now I'll end my entry._

_Goodnight Reader_

_-Zozo

* * *

_

"She looked hot in those curls...I'm so glad that **I **picked it out!" Bakura said while shoving his thumb into his chest. Ryou glanced at his yami and gave him a rather heated look.

"You're just jealous that she liked me better then you..." Bakura chuckled

Ryou's eyes were blazing now. "She did not like you more then she liked me! She spent most her time with me and not you!"

Bakura only laughed. "You must not be paying attention to her diary...she even says so herself. She liked ME!"

Ryou turned away.

"Ok come on Ryou, get over it. All the girls fall for a bad boy." A smirk crossed Bakura's lips.

"ALL the girls."

* * *

**Rampant Chaos: I can tell your enjoying this huh? Well, I tried really hard to make this story both funny and sad…Am I doing ok?**

**Am I making you laugh as well as cry? I should be…**

**Anyways, the speech will be coming…in the end…you'll have to wait.**

**Thanks to all other reviewers…**


	11. Chapter 10

**Don't own Yu-Gi-Oh...only Nozomi and her mother...**

**Chapter 10:**

_March 2 2002_

_I really need to work on writing more...I forgot all about my diary! I knew something like this would happen...anyways, nothing much happened these past few days..._

_But, Ryou and I are going to the school dance, together as FRIENDS! My mother just grins every time I try to explain it to her. She thinks there's more to this relationship then just being friends! Now, if you switched Ryou with Bakura, then maybe I wouldn't protest as much, heck I wouldn't protest at all!_

_ANYWAYS, I was just at Ryou bears house. Let's just say this night has been rather funny. You see, we were laying on his bed, playing duel monsters and listening to the radio. Hey mama by black eyed peas came on and it hit me like a wave. I just wanted to dance. So I jumped off the bed and began to sway my hips to the beat of the music. Ryou stared at me with wide eyes. _

_"Zozo! What are you doing?" he asked, watching me twirl my hips. I just grinned and grabbed his hands._

_"Join me Ryou bear...By the way, do you even know HOW to dance?" I laughed when he gave a shake of his head._

_"N-No...I can slow dance..."_

_I paused and stared at him with disbelieving eyes. "Ryou bear, you plan on taking me to a dance, and all you can do is SLOW dance? Not every song is a slow song!" I heaved a sigh then grinned._

_"Then I'll have to teach you..." Now, I must say...I really don't know how guys should dance, or HOW they dance. So, I just taught him what I know._

_"Ok, now sway your hips like this!" I commanded while placing both my hands on his hips, moving him gently in the direction I wanted._

_"Zozo, I don't know if this will look right..." Ryou stammered as he moved his hips in a circle._

_"Oh come on, all the girls are doing it...and besides, the lights will be off and everyone will mistake you for a girl anyways."  
Ryou blushed and placed a hand over his face to hide it. "Oh Ryou bear, I was kidding..."_

_We both laughed it off. I then continued to teach him my skills. "Alright, now, dip it low! Pick it up slow...now...twirk your hip...wow Ryou, your good at this!" He was picking it up fast. "Zozo, this feels weird." He said while he dipped down once again. "Now, push your pelvis out...like air humping...no, like this." I had to grab his hips once again and I pushed them forward. "Just imagine it's...some hot sexy girl in front of you." I teased. I think I saw his face turn even redder, but it was hard to tell since I was down by his butt. Which is rather cute I might add...hey, Bakura has the same butt, so I guess it's alright if I stare...NO IT'S NOT!_

_Anyways, Then I told him to place his hands on his knees and stick his butt out._

_"Now, shake what your mama gave ya or what she didn't...what ever..."_

_"Zozo...I don't know..."_

_"Just do it!" I said while stomping my foot, which made my curls bob around my head, which I like allot! He sighed then bent over like I said._

_"Zozo...Can you please not stand behind me..." He whispered, a blush creeping up his neck. I smiled with amusement and moved in front of him._

_"Alright Ryou bear, shake it like a polaroid picture!" Ryou beganto move his tiny little butt into the air, closing his eyes. I couldn't help but laugh. I fell backwards onto his bed, clutching my sides._

_"Ryou bear! Please, stop! It hurts...Ok, you can stop bumping and grinding!" I yelled. But he didn't hear me over the loud music or my laughter._

_That's when his royal highness decided to come out. He appeared with his arms crossed over his chest, his face set into a scowl._

_"What the hell is all that racket...?" He paused mid sentence and stared down at his hikari who was still swaying to the beat of the music, his hands still on his knees._

_"RYOU! What the hell are you doing!" Ryou jumped in surprise and blinked up at Bakura. Bakura raised his fist, ready to strike but I was on him, like white on rise._

_"Uncle!" I screamed while grabbing his fist and jumping on his back. He was shocked to say the least and almost fell over._

_"Why you little..." a growl escaped his lips and I just giggled."What the hell was my Hikari doing?" He screamed while balling his fist._

_"Dancing silly!" I crawled off his back and stood in front of him._

_"What the hell was he..." I grabbed his arms before he could say another word. And right when I did that, a slow song just happen to come on...so...I pulled him close and began to dance around the room slowly. Bakura tried to tug away, but I just squeezed harder on his hands._

_"You should learn now, because I don't want you stepping on my feet at the dance." I laughed. He narrowed his eyes at me._

_"Aren't you going with Ryou?" He asked, studying my face for any hint of a prank. I just smiled and nodded my head._

_"Yep, but since you're sharing the same body...you'll both be there, and I want to dance with both of you." Bakura grinned. "I'm not a dancer sorry." And with that he brought his foot down on my toes. I screamed and pushed him away. He just threw his head back and roared with laughter._

_"You're so mean!" I shouted while clutching my foot._

_"That's payback for making my Hikari dance like a belly dancer! He will not be seen in public dancing like...like...some hooker!"_

_"Hey! What's wrong with the way I dance?" I shouted while placing my foot down gently. Bakura grinned._

_"I really didn't get a chance to see you dance, care to demonstrate for me?" He asked, his eyes glittering dangerously. I shot him a dirty look then turned away from him._

_"I'm leaving Ryou bear, I'll see you later." I gave him a hug then grabbed my book bag._

_Bakura may be hot and all, but he still can unnerve me!_

_This makes me think... Ryou bear and Bakura look the same, just that Ryou is lighter and smaller. He is rather cute, but in a girly kind of way. And Bakura is tough and rather rough around the edges, making him sexy and desirable. _

_Why can't you combine them into one? A Bakura Ryou that is gentle but tough, Kind yet mean, and sexy yet cute?_

_Euch! Enough thinking! This is where I end._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

Come on Ryou, dance for me!" Bakura laughed. Ryou turned a dark red. "I wish she hadn't put that in there...really..."

Bakura jumped to his feet and began to sway his hips. "Look at me, I'm going to BUMP AND GRIND!" He shouted with laughter.

Ryou glared at his yami. "You're just jealous that you can't do it!" Bakura just laughed some more and wiped at his eyes. He had been laughing so hard that it brought tears to his eyes. At least you knew he was capable of crying.

"But aren't I doing it right!" He held his sides, as if they wouldsplit.

"Come on Ryou, read on!" Bakura said, finally controlling his laughter.

Ryou gladly turned to the diary and turned the page.

* * *

_March 10 2002_

_The dance is only a week away and I still haven't found anything to wear! I really don't want to wear a fruffly dress...(Sigh)_

_Well, anyways, Ryou bear is going to the mall with me after school, so...ya...we'll see what we can find. I hope he's not looking forward to anything to dressy. I hate dresses! I'd rather go in a tux...hey wait a minute...maybe me and Ryou could switch places...(Grins) Think he'd go for it?_

_Later_

_I had the best time ever! Who knew shopping could be so fun. After school, we headed straight for the mall and right into the prom store. We looked at every dress they had on sale, but most of them were long pink or blue puffy dresses._

_Like I've said before, I'm not a dress girl, so puffy is out of the question! Ryou looked at every dress they had and still couldn't find one for me._

_"Alright, then lets look at the tux's!" I yelled and headed over to the men's department._

_"You're joking right?" He asked staring at me with wide eyes. I grinned at him and gave him a wink. Of course I was kidding, but it was fun to make Ryou all embarrassed and red._

_I grabbed the nearest tux, to trick Ryou bear into thinking I was serious. I rushed to the men's changing room and slipped into a stall. The tux was a little tight around the chest area and baggy around the waist. But I wore it anyways, I stepped out and gave a bow._

_I deepened my voice and gave Ryou a glance._

_"Hey baby, want to go to the dance with me?" Ryou stared at me with wide brown eyes._

_"Zozo...you look...like...you're a clown Zozo!" He grinned and clapped his hands._

_"Thank you. Thank you. Thank you very much!" I said with a twirl. He laughed and I ran back into the stall to change. When I got out, Ryou was eyeing a rather pretty black dress._

_He looked up at me and smiled. "I like this one...It will look good on you." I wrinkled my nose and stepped closer to have a good look. It was a plain dress that folded in the front...well, I'm not that good at explaining...but ya._

_Anyways, it had a long slit that went up to the bottom of my thigh, leaving any man wanting more. It was spaghetti straps and looked just right for me. But then an evil thought crossed my mind._

_"Hey, Ryou, since you like it so much, why don't **you** try it on for me?" I took the dress off the rack and shoved it into his hands. He looked down at it unsure then smiled._

_"If you're brave enough to try on the tux, then I'm brave enough to try on this dress!"_

_I swear he's getting braver every day. He's even sticking up to his yami, which __I find hilarious. Ryou will yell at Bakura, then Bakura will turn red in the face because he can't do anything to his hikari except yell, which isn't affecting Ryou anymore!_

_My little boy's growing up! (Sob)_

_Anyways, he went into the girls changing room and quickly slipped the dress on, then moments later he stepped out, smiling a large brave smile._

_I could have sworn I saw him sway his hips...but I'm just going to pretend that I didn't. Anyways, like usual, Bakura always picks the wrong times to appear. The m. ring began to glow and there he was, standing in front of Ryou, his arms crossed over his chest. His mouth dropped as he saw Ryou prancing around in the dress. Ryou paused when he noticed his yami, then gave a large grin._

_"Hello Bakura...like my dress?" He asked fingering the fabric. I laughed and fell to the floor, holding my sides._

_"NOZOMI! What are you doing to him! You're turning him into a girl!" Bakura roared while stomping his foot. I just giggled and rolled on the floor with laughter._

_Bakura gave another roar then disappeared into the ring._

_"Alright, Ryou, I'll get that dress, now, let's find you a tux!"_

_And that's the highlights of my day. After shopping we went our separate ways. I headed home and took a long nap. Chemo really does wear me out. But you know, when I'm with Ryou bear, I don't feel like I have cancer...I feel normal, carefree, and alive. But at the end of my day, that sense of pretense is shattered by my vomiting and the feel of my bald head. Sometimes I can't help but cry myself to sleep. It's hard. Really it is. I've already lost fifteen pounds and you can now see my ribs. You can count them too if you wanted. My clothes hang on me and my face looks small and boney. I want this all to end. I wish it was anightmare. But, it's not. Ryou is the only one that's keeping me from falling apart...from dying, because he doesn't know it yet...he's my life line, my heart, the one thing that's keeping me going._

_-Zozo_

_

* * *

_

**Anybody got a tissue? I enjoyed writing this chapter, I could just imagine Ryou dancing...dirty and all...And no RYOU IS NOT GAY! He's just a little bit more in touch with his feminen side then Bakura is...So what if he sways his hips while wearing a dress...he's just playing the role...uh...(cough)**

**OK, well Read and Review, and I'll update as soon as possible. Wait till they go to the dance...if you thought Ryou dancing like a girl in front of Nozomi was bad, wait till he's in public...Heh heh!**

**-Yunie**


	12. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11:**

_March 17, 2002_

_Day of dance_

_I can't wait! I can't wait! This is my first dance...Yes; sadly I've never been to a dance before. I'll make sure that Ryou bear has a great time! Along with a certain someone... (Grins evilly)_

_I plan on making Bakura come out of that stupid little ring. And I'm going to force him to dance with me! I can just imagine it!_

_Anyways, I got to go, my mother's going to fix my hair...or wig...and then make my face over with cosmetics...YUCK! I'm going to look like a clown! Sometimes, I wish I had been born a boy...NEVER MIND! Bakura's too hot...unless I was a gay guy...Eww...Yaoi..._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

Ryou frowned at the book in his hands then turned the page.

"Oh, this is where you turned green with envy, huh?" Bakura asked with a smirk. Ryou glanced up at his yami. "You deserved what you got!" Ryou spat.

That night had been his and Zozo's first fight ever. He could still remember that night, like it was yesterday. He had just arrived at her house, with a corsage all nicely packed in its container. He rang her bell and waited for her mother to answer it.

Ms. Haru smiled when she opened the door then pulled him in.

"Wait till you see my daughter! She looks like a real girl," her face had crinkled into a smile. Ryou felt sad in a way, because Nozomi was all she had left, and she could possibly die soon.

Nozomi walked down the stairs with trouble, her heels twisting around.

"EH! Now I remember why I hate dresses and high heels!" She screamed with frustration as she clutched the railing. Ryou dashed up the steps then offered her his arm.

"Aw! Ryou bear! You're so sweet." She said while touching his cheek gently. He blushed then turned to hide it. Nozomi's mother clapped in approval as she watched the exchange.

"You two look perfect together!" She cried in delight. Nozomi frowned at her mother then turned to Ryou.

"How do I look?" She asked giving a twirl.

Ryou smiled in approval. Her hair was sweped up into an up do, curls tumbling down and touching her shoulders and neck. Her make-up was light and natural looking, her freckles giving her face a childish yet womanly appearance. Ryou knew instantly that he had a crush on her.

"You look wonderful Zozo!" he had whispered with delight. She smiled and gave him a curtsied. "I'm ready for the ball!" She laughed. She looked down at his chest.

"Did you bring Bakura?" She asked, searching for the m. ring.

"Yes..." He pulled the m. ring out from under his tux jacket and flashed it at her. "Good, I'm making sure he dances tonight. He needs the exercise anyways! He can't stay in the ring, sleeping all day!"

Ryou smiled then handed her the corsage. "This is for you."

Nozomi took the gift from his hands then smiled.

"Aw! Ryou bear! You shouldn't have!" She cooed then gave him a hug. Ryou would have preferred a kiss, but he didn't want to push it.

"Shall we go?" he asked, offering her his arm.

"Earth to RYOU! RYOU come in!" Bakura shouted while waving his hand in front of his face. "Come on Aibou! Come back to papa, you weak little reincarnation!"

Ryou blinked several times then shook his head.

"Are ya back buddy? My little host? My hikari? My aibou?" Bakura grabbed a pillow then began to knock Ryou upside the head.

"Hey cut it out! I hear ya!" Ryou said while shielding his head from the blows.

"Come on, read more! I want to know her point of view...about that wonderful night!" Bakura grinned, evilly, at Ryou then pushed the book into his hands.

"Read!"

Ryou glared daggers at his yami then looked back down at the book he held close to his chest.

* * *

_Later_

_I've never been so miserable in my life...Let me start off with the beginning. We had just arrived at the school, the lights were off and the music was blaring. Ryou looked rather scared when I peered over at him._

_"Ryou bear? What's wrong?" I asked looking down at him with concern. He shrugged it off, placing a rather fake smile on his delicate pale face._

_"Nothing, let's go inside." He slowly dragged me off the curve and towards the awaiting gym. He paused when he reached the doors then heaved a sigh._

_"Here we go..." he whispered more to himself then to me. I glanced at his face then smiled as I noticed the determined look._

_"You're scared...This your first dance too?" I asked trying to break the ice. Ryou shook his head fiercely as he stepped into the over crowded gym._

_"That's not it..." I stopped dead in my tracks. "Then tell me...What is it?" I asked, placing my hands on my hips, indicating I wasn't leaving without an answer. He sighed then turned his back to me._

_"I'm scared of the dark..." Laughter bubbled in my throat, and I didn't know how to hold it back. I covered my mouth with my hand and let a small giggle escape._

_"Is that it? You're scared of the dark?" I finally choked out as I contained my laughter. He looked up at me with...determined eyes? I swear Ryou bear is getting braver and braver everyday. He grabbed my hand then tugged me into the crowd. "I'm going to face my fears!" He shouted ahead of me. I smiled and patted his hand. "That's the way to go, Ryou..." He turned to smile at me and I opened my arms. "I'm here to chase all the monsters away..." I whispered while wrapping my arms around his small frame. He smiled at me and returned the hug. "Thank you, Zozo... It shouldn't be that bad."_

_He pulled away and we slowly walked into the dark room. He stiffened by my side then finally relaxed as the lights began to flicker around the room. "Punch?" He asked while looking up at me. I smiled and gave a nod._

_"Hell ya! Let's see if anyone spiked it!" I rushed over to the punch bowl and greedily grabbed a cup, filling it to the rim. I handed it to Ryou then grabbed another. Once I had finished my punch, which wasn't spiked by the way, I turned to Ryou and raised a brow. "So...now what?" I asked looking around. Ryou opened his mouth then paused._

_"Dance?" he asked as a slow song began to play. I smiled and offered him my arm. "Why yes, good sir!" He giggled and grabbed my arm, slowly leading me to the dance floor. He hesitated for a moment then smiled as he turned me to face him. He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist and I raised my arms to his neck. The song was very soothing and slow, giving the air a romantic feeling. I smiled up at Ryou and tilted my head to the side when he began to blush. "What's wrong, Ryou bear? Do I stink?" I asked while giving a low chuckle._

_He turned even redder and looked away. "It's not that...it's just that I've never been this close to a girl before..." I giggled and petted his fluffy white hair. The song came to an end and people began to jam to the DJ's hits. _

_"Soooo...Ryou, want to dance?" I asked with an evil grin. His eyes widened and he stared at me with large brown eyes. "I...I didn't think you would actually...make me...dance like that..." I didn't even answer him; I grabbed his hand and dragged him away._

_"Oh come on, don't be a baby...loosen up!" I dragged him to the middle of the dance floor and gave him a crooked grin. "Ready?" I asked while stepping back a little. He gave a weak nod and stared at me still with those large brown eyes._

_"Alright!" I screamed and began to twirl my hips to the beat of the music. Ryou stood there for a moment till he finally got over his shyness. He began to sway his hips as well, more manly then feminine. I was amazed at how well he picked up the beat._

_"Wow! Go Ryou Bear!" I shouted as I began to shake my arms in the air. "WHOOP! Go Ryou!" He smiled at me and gave a thumbs up. I could tell he was enjoying himself._

_After about an hour of hard core dancing we found a spot at a near by table and slumped in our chairs. "That was great, Ryou Bear! Who knew you were such a great dancer." I began to fan myself with my hands and pant. "Ryou! I'm starved...Do you want to get us some pizza?" I asked while continuing to fan my flushed face. He flinched a little then smiled. "Yes, I will Zozo...You sit back and relax!" I watched him run off with narrowed eyes. "He better not be starting that again..." I muttered under my breath._

_"Start what?" A voice said behind me. I turned around, and was greeted by a small pale oval face. She had large blue eyes and long blonde hair, I could tell just by looking at her that she was faking the smile on her face._

_"Nothing, none of your business..." I replied, trying to sound as cool and composed as I could. Truthfully, I didn't like how she butted into my thoughts._

_"Oh, well, I'm real good friends with Ryou and I just wanted to know what you were talking about...By the way...I love your hair...Wig?" I tensed at the word wig. How did she know? "My hair is none of your concern...whether it be a wig or not." I stood up and glared at her. "Plus...if you WERE good friends with Ryou then you would know what I was talking about, in fact you wouldn't even have to ask!" Just as I said this Ryou appeared at my side, holding a glass of fruit punch and pizza._

_"What's going on? Oh, hi, Rodnie...How is cheerleading?" Rodnie looked away from me and gave Ryou a plastic smile. "Oh, it's doing great...I just wanted to come say hi to your girlfriend..."_

_Ryou's mouth dropped open, showing off his perfect straight teeth._

_"M-my...M-my girlfriend?" He turned a dark shade of red and I sighed. "We are not dating...What made you think that?" I asked, glad that I had figured out the reason she was over. She liked Ryou and she was green with envy. Her face brightened up as I said this and she wore a genuine smile now. "Oh! My bad...Just gossip then...It's what I've heard around school...plus, it didn't help any that you guys were slow dancing..." She gave a small giggle and covered her mouth, giving her a small girlish look. A look that many guys must have fallen for._

_"Well, it was nice seeing you, Rodnie..." Ryou said while giving a wave. Rodnie waved back then began to move along. "Oh, and by the way...what's your name?" She asked, turning to me and giving another satisfied yet plastic smile._

_"My name, miss, is Nozomi...Nozomi Haru..." She offered me her hand to shake but I ignored it. I could feel Ryou stare at me with pondering eyes. "Well...nice to meet you Nozomi..." She whispered as she pulled her hand away. Her face turned red within seconds and I couldn't help but smile. For some reason, I felt as if she was treading on my property. I could tell she liked Ryou, and for some reason I didn't like that idea. Was **I **Jealous? NAH!_

_Anyways, I gave a sigh then sat back down. "Ok, all you ladies out there...Find yourself a man to dance with!" Baby by Ashanti began to play and I jumped up._

_"Give me, Bakura!" I shouted while reaching out my hand. Ryou looked up, startled, and then slowly looked down at the ring around his neck. "I think he's sleeping, Zozo...You don't want to wake him...He gets cranky..." I shook my head. "No, hand him over...He's going to dance with me!" Ryou gave a sigh then pulled the necklace over his head. "Alright, can't say I didn't warn you..." I ignored him and walked to a near by wall._

_"WAKE UP!" I yelled while shaking the ring. It vibrated a little then stopped. I frowned and shook it some more. It vibrated again, more violently then stopped._

_"WAKE UP!" I started slamming it into the wall, watching as sparks flew in every direction. Ryou gasped and jumped to his feet. "Nozomi! Don't break it!"_

_I ignored him once again and began to swing the ring into the wall with all the force I could muster. The ring began to vibrate and shake, making me drop it to the ground._

_"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!" Bakura yelled as he took shape in the room. Everyone glanced over, making Ryou blush._

_I smiled up at Bakura and grabbed his hand. "We're dancing, you lazy bum!" I shoved him onto the dance floor. "Ryou, you might want to hide...People might think it weird if they see two Ryou's..." Ryou gave a nod and went to blend in with the shadows._

_"Now...dance Bakura..." Bakura gave a snort and refused to take my hands. "Oh, come on!" I shouted while slipping the ring around his neck. He gave a snort and turned his back on me. "Please Bakura? I'll do anything for you..." He laughed evilly and turned to face me. "Anything? Anything I want? What If I want to get laid? I haven't had sex for 3,000 years...shall we?" I gave a shudder at the thought then backed away. "Ok, maybe not anything...Please?" I tried my best to give him a puppy dog look but he ignored it._

_"Fine!" I grabbed his hands then placed them on my hips, and then I wrapped my arms around his neck. "DANCE!" I yelled while stomping the heel of my foot on his toes. _

_"OWE!" he roared and began to slowly move around, slowly twirling me in circles._

_"That's much better!" I whispered as I leaned in and rested my head on his shoulder._

_"Stupid bitch..." He muttered under his breath._

_"That's not very nice..." I whispered. He smiled and continued to glide me across the floor. That's when I got a glimpse of blonde hair._

_Rodnie. She was with her own dance partner, following me and Bakura. As if she still didn't believe we weren't dating. She didn't know when to stop!_

_So I did the first thing that came to mind. I made sure she was watching, then turned to Bakura, grabbed his face in my hands and reached up and kissed him. Yes...KISSED HIM! Lips on lips...I must say he was very surprised...at first, at least. Then he laughed into my mouth and began to kiss back, which I didn't expect. I heard Rodnie gasp in surprise and I smiled to my self. I had some how won a battle...A personal one if anything. Then Bakura got evil and started thrusting his tongue into my mouth. I gasped and tried to pull away, but he held onto me tightly. His tongue attacked my mouth, shoved down my throat and tackled my own tongue. People moved aside as I struggled with Bakura, trying to break away. I felt his large hands grab me around the waist and fumble with my dresses zipper._

_"NO!" I screamed into his mouth and he chuckled. "You asked for it..." He whispered back as he shoved me to the ground. That's when I heard Ryou cry out my name. _

_"NOZOMI!" He shouted as he tackled Bakura to the ground. I gasped in amazement as I watched...get ready...Ryou punch Bakura in the jaw...not once...not twice...but three times!_

_"No! Wait, Ryou...it's not his fault! STOP!" I shouted while pulling Ryou away. Teachers crowded around us, tugging on Ryou and Bakura, who was now fighting back. "Stop it Ryou!" I shouted, finally grabbing his shoulders and tugging him free. Bakura's fist swung towards his head and he ducked smartly._

_"Fucking Yami! Don't touch her!" Ryou yelled at the top of his lungs. Bakura wore a large smirk on his face; as if he was happy with the attack Ryou had just given him. "Knock it off! Stop it Ryou!" I shouted...and now this is where I feel terrible._

_"I can take care of myself! I don't need you there all the time...I'm a big girl...I can fight my own battles!" Ryou's mouth fell open and he stared at me. I stared back, watching as his nose trickled with blood. I grabbed a napkin and handed it to him. "Here...your nose..." He took the napkin and bowed his head. "Fine...I won't try and help you ever again..." I could hear the anger and sadness in his voice. But what can I say...I have a thing for fighting my own battles. A flaw that must be worked on.** (1)**_

_I watched him walk off then turned to look at Bakura, who was now standing and smiling smugly at me. He gave a wink and I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed then brought his two fingers to his mouth, spread them apart and slid his tongue through the space, giving it a slight wiggle for emphases. I gave a disgusted look and quickly stormed up to him. My fists were balled and ready. I wanted to smack that smirk off his handsome face so bad, but I couldn't._

_So I sighed and gritted my teeth. Hoping he wouldn't say anything to break the tie holding me back. He smiled knowingly and opened his mouth to talk. "Shut up! Just don't say anything!" I shouted while backing up, hoping I could get away before I heard what ever he had to say._

_When I turned to rush off I ran smack dab into Rodnie. "Oh my goodness...watch where I'm going!" She shouted while moving her glass of punch away from her person. She smiled at me and brought the glass to her lips, taking a deep sip. I watched her in distaste. I was in a hurry, trying to go catch up with Ryou and here she was, drinking punch in front of me._

_"Pardon me...that mask you're wearing today threw me off...I'm not used to that one...it's gorgeous by the way...now...may you please move? Your whale of a body is in the way of my destination." I peeked over her shoulder, to add more humor to my comment I started jumping up as if I couldn't see over her shoulder. She gave a sneer and peered at me with those icy blue eyes. She then turned to Bakura. "I thought you said that you and Nozomi weren't dating?" She said in that Barbie plastic voice of hers. A fake smile broke over her mouth, turning the corners of her lips. A smile of my own broke out too. She obviously didn't know about Bakura. Oh joy!_

_"We aren't...I realized you liked Ryou...So I set out to make you jealous...looks like it worked..." I gave a mock smile and tilted my head to the side. She was treading in hot water...water that belonged to me. Yes, I'm very possessive._

_Her smile twitched then slowly faded. "So, you did all that just to get me upset? Well it worked...Bye the way...nice wig...going bald?" She asked while reaching out and rubbing the coarse, rough hair in-between her fingers. I gasped and pulled away. How could she tell? Did she have a fake hair raider? "Well, since I know that you're not dating...want to go out on a date Ryou?" She looked up at Bakura and gave an innocent yet fake smile...honestly, when doesn't this girl fake a smile?_

_Bakura opened his mouth to respond but I was too quick. "He doesn't date hookers." I simply stated while standing in front of him. Bakura closed his mouth then smiled knowingly. He knew I was jealous, and liked watching me fight over him._

_"Then, is that why he's not dating you?" Rodnie said, that soft fake voice of hers slicing into me like a knife. She had pushed it, pushed it too far. I grabbed a glass of punch off the near by table and flung it into her face, drenching her top half of her gorgeous white gown, her fake face and her hair._

_She gasped and wiped at her eyes, trying to clear her vision to peer at me. I wore a satisfied grin and grabbed Bakura's hand. "Let's go Ba-, I mean Ryou."_

_Bakura willingly followed me outside. When we reached the large double doors I sighed and peered around, hoping I would see Ryou bear...But he must have run off home. Now I felt crappie. Why did I have to let my pride get in the way of me and Ryou Bears friendship! Why didn't I accept the fact that I AM weak and need help? I had acted just like a man..._

_Well, reader, you probably think I'm a bitch and a crappy friend. Well, I'm glad I don't know you and that I can't see you at the moment. And now, I am sitting at home, at my desk thinking of tonight's events. Will Ryou bear talk to me? Will he listen to my poor excuse? We'll have to find out now won't we?_

_-Nozomi

* * *

_

Ryou gave a sigh and then closed the book, giving a sigh. "There you happy Bakura?" he asked while shoving it away into the box. "No, read on! Read on!" Bakura chanted while balling his fist and slamming them down. Ryou gave a stern glare at his Yami then heaved a sigh. "Fine...I need to finish this up anyways...her ceremony is in two days and I still need to make up a speech. Ryou mindlessly flipped through the pages and gave a groan. "I have a lot of reading to do..."

* * *

**Alright people, sorry it took me so long to update...I've been swamped with homework and upcoming finals...I'm going to Hawaii! (Dances around in a circle) ok...read and review! I didn't really review this, so if there are any problems, let me know!**

**_(1) Nozomi, a weak and frail girl like her can't really fight...but it's more of a pride thing. Since she can't fight for herself, she tries her hardest anyways. Convinced she can do it all by herself...A childish trait I gave her. So, she gets upset when people try to fight her battles for her..._**


	13. Chapter 12

Chapter 12:

_March 20 2002,_

_I haven't seen or talked to Ryou Bear all weekend...ever since our fight on Friday at the dance. It's about six thirty now and I'm having trouble waking up, so I thought that I should write to clear my mind. Today I will be seeing Ryou bear and hopefully work this out. I feel so bad for yelling at him like that..._

_I mean, he was only trying to help me. And I really don't want to see that Rodnie girl...she needs an attitude adjustment and I'm all to willing to give it to her!_

_I go in for another check up tomorrow...hopefully everything will be alright and I can get off this Chemo! I really want my hair back, to run my hands through it and not worry about weather or not the breeze is going to make it fly off or not._

_I still can't believe that Rodnie girl knew it was a wig. How could she know? Does she own one herself? Isn't that how?_

_I just can't believe that it was that noticable...I and my mother searched high and low for a wig that matched the same color as the other and was in curls. Maybe because it looked so pretty that it looked unreal...Who knows...well I better get ready for school...I really don't want to go, but I need to talk to Ryou bear...and fix everything between us..._

_-Zozo

* * *

_

Ryou quickly turned the page. He knew what was coming next, what would be written on the next page.

"No, I don't want to read this part..." Ryou muttered to Bakura who was leaning over his shoulder, waiting for him to start reading.

"Oh come on Ryou! It can't be that bad can it?" He asked while squinting at the Japanese characters on the pale paper.

"You should know, you were there!" Ryou shot as he shoved his Yami's face away from his neck.

"Oh, that's what's coming next...I see..." Bakura sat back on his heels and grinned.

"I was awesome wasn't I?" he asked while clapping his hands together. Ryou rolled his eyes then turned back to the journal.

* * *

_Later_

_I'm so...what's the word I'm looking for? Shaken up? That's good enough. Today was...weird..._

_I walked to the bus stop, my hands shoved into my pockets, looking down at my feet. I was afraid of how my day was going to start off...I didn't know what to expect. I looked up for a second and caught a glimpse of fluffy white hair, blowing in the breeze. My heart skipped a beat and I froze. I didn't know how I was going to talk to Ryou...I didn't even know if he wanted to listen. I did kind of hurt him. I felt my stomach knot up and twist in pain. This was my moment to make it all better. To fix the wrong. But my legs wouldn't move. They wouldn't take those simple ten steps up to him. So I stood there like a deer caught in head lights. Wondering what will happen between us._

_I sat there for a good ten minutes till the bus pulled up and opened its doors. I cursed myself for being so stupid and wimpy, then climbed on as well. I walked down the small Isle and noticed all seats to be full...except Ryou's. I felt my stomach knot up again as I neared it._

_"Um...Ryou can I sit here?" I asked, hoping I wouldn't get the rejection I was expecting. Instead, he just scooted over, not saying a word. I swallowed, trying to rid myself of the lump in my throat. I sat next to him, stiff and silent. Afraid to move, just in case I accidentally bumped into him. _

_Finally the bus stopped in front of the school, and everyone jumped to their feet. Including me. I was happy once I was off the bus and felt the cool air blow around me. I looked around me, trying to find a familiar face. Someone I could cling to while I was still fighting with Ryou. I've never left Ryou before, so this would be difficult. Everywhere I went, it was with Ryou. I did everything with him. He was my only close friend, and without him, I was a loner._

_I thought about hanging with Yugi and his gang, but I knew that's where Ryou would go. Back to them. So, I heaved a sigh, and just trudged to my first class._

_When I walked into the room, I noticed Rodnie right away, sitting in the corner with her little gang of girl friends, all giggling over something pathetic no doubt. Seto, who sits right behind me, was tapping away at his computer, not even glancing down at his hands. I shook my head in amazement, then took my seat. I tensed up a little as Ryou walked in. I didn't understand. What was he doing in my class?_

_He walked up to my teacher then took a seat beside the door. It looked like he was making up a test for another class...I'm not too sure._

_I tried my best to pay attention to the teacher and my work. But Ryou's bobbing white hair caught my eye often. My heart began to beat faster with worry and I felt my mouth go dry. I didn't want us to fight anymore. I wanted to jump up and scream my apology_

_"Ok class...we have ten minutes of free time. Feel free to move around and talk." my teacher placed down her chalk then smiled, making half the class cheer with joy._

_I didn't want to move, or talk to anyone. Except for with Ryou. But I and he were in a fight. So I pulled out my book and began to read. And I must say, if you don't read it right, the joy luck club can be very confusing._

_I had just moved onto my second page, when a shadow loomed over me. "Hello Nozomi." A familiar, yet plastic voice said. I slowly looked up, trying to give Rodnie the best glare I could._

_"Yes...may I help you with something?" I asked, raising an eye brow. Rodnie gave a large smile, flashing off her big white straight teeth._

_"Oh, me and my friends just wanted to talk...you looked lonely." She took a seat beside me, tilting her head to the side to have a better look of my face. "I'm sorry...my book is more interesting." I retorted, turning a page for emphases. I could see Rodnie's smile vanish and be replaced with a frown. I smiled to myself then waved my hand at her lazily._

_"Now, please. Shoo fly don't bother me..." My smile grew as her frown deepened. "Bitch!" She growled under her breath. Her hand darted out so fast, that I didn't have time to duck or smack it away._

_My wig flew off my head and into the air, landing on the floor in a mass of curls._

_Gasps filled the room as my bald head was exposed. Rodnie sucked in her breath, then held it there with her hand. I pushed my seat back, and rushed towards my wig, hoping to cover my nude head with it before anyone said anything._

_"You're...b-bald?" You could tell Rodnie was trying to hold back a laugh. Her voice was cracking with amusement. _

_I bent over, trying to grab my wig while holding back tears, but one of Rodnie's friends stepped on it instead, dragging it away from my reach. "Give it back!" I shouted, tears burning at my lids._

_"Nozomi is bald?"_

_"She's old!"_

_"I can see my face in her head!"_

_I could hear the voices of my class mates, ringing in my head. Kaiba's tapping stopped and he looked up from his work. I could feel everyone's eyes on me. Except Ryou's. I glanced over at him, and he was looking down at his hands, clutching them together in a tight grip. How I wanted him to comfort me, and make this torment stop._

_I felt my body go numb, cold with fear. Everyone around me was smiling and laughing amongst themselves. "Give me back my hair!" I shouted, glaring back at the brunet holding it beneath her foot._

_"No badly!" She picked it up and waved it in the air, above her head._

_"Hey Rodnie...you always wanted curls right?" the wig was tossed over my head, to the hands of Rodnie. Rodnie smiled and placed it on her head. "How do I look?" she posed, placing a hand on her hip, the other primping the wigs strands of hair._

_The class erupted into a fit of giggles. "Hand it over!" I gritted my teeth and took a step towards Rodnie. She just gave a mock gasp, then smiled and tossed it over my head once more. Why wasn't the teacher doing anything? It appears she stepped out of the room while I was absorbed in my book._

_I ran from one person to the next, trying to catch my hair. The class now was screaming with laughter, holding their sides as if they would split. I didn't know what to do, and the laughter was ringing in my ears. Why wasn't anyone stopping it?_

_Just as I was thinking this, an arm darted out and caught the wig above Rodnie's head. "That isn't very nice!" Seto growled, glaring down at Rodnie. I heaved a heavy sigh then gave Seto a grateful glance. But I'm still wondering what took him so long. He shoved passed Rodnie then briskly strode up to me._

_"Here..." he snuggly fitted the wig back onto my head, then turned on his heel, returning back to his laptop. I couldn't help but smile. It appeared Seto did have a kind side to him._

_"Hey baldy...this isn't over!" Rodnie snarled

* * *

_

_In a way, I feel upset that Ryou did nothing...he just sat there, watching it all happen. Well, to continue on with my horrible day. At lunch I just stood there, watching as others walked off in their little groups, talking about the littlest things. It made me think about me and Ryou bear, and how we would get all worked up about duel monsters and who we thought was a good actor or not._

_I knew then that I had to make up with him. Maybe for selfish reasons. I just didn't want to be alone. I wanted him to be there with me, by my side, holding my hand and talking about which dueling card was his favorite. Just the thought about him made me smile. The way his little brown eyes would sparkle with delight every time we talked about England, his home country. Or the way he ate his food, in small tiny bites and in little proportions. I knew then that I couldn't live without him. That he had become the center of my life._

_I turned on my heel, heading for Ryou. Wanting to hug him close and tell him I was sorry. Sorry for ever being stubborn and hard headed. For always pushing him into daring and crazy things. I could feel my courage welling up inside of me. I knew what I had to do, and I was willing to do it._

_I was about 20 feet away from Ryou and his gang when someone grabbed me from behind. "Hey baldy." _

_I twisted my head to the side, to give Rodnie the deadliest glare I could muster. I wasn't at all feeling to kind towards her. After she knocked off my wig and played monkey in the middle with it._

_"What the hell do you want!" I asked, biting out each word with such venom my body began to shake from it. Anger was surging through my veins, making me lose all senses in my head._

_"Don't talk to me like that, Ms. Baldy." Rodnie snipped out, giving her "I'm better then you" smile." I wanted so badly to smack that look off her face, but Ryou's voice caught my attention. I turned back towards him and smiled, watching him laughing with Yugi and his friends._

_"Look at me!" Rodnie shouted, turning my face back to meet hers. My smile vanished and I glared at her. "Let me go." I narrowed my eyes at her, hoping she would catch my meaning. But she just smiled and turned to look at her five other, rather large girlfriends._

_"But Nozomi...we want to play a game with you." She gave that annoying smile again, showing off those large beaver teeth of hers._

_"I don't want to play any games with you Rodnie..." I began to wiggle from her hold, only to find that she had a rather strong grip. Either that or I was boney and frail from Chemo. She dug her long manicured nails into my shoulder, and smiled when she felt me wince in pain._

_"Come on Nozomi...you'll enjoy this game." She gave a sly smile, and tried to drag me away. But instead, I planted my heels into the cement and tugged backwards, feeling the searing pain in my shoulders._

_"No!" I screamed. A hush fell around me, and I knew I had ruined her plans. Her whole plan was to take me somewhere where no one would see or hear._

_"I will not let you bully me Rodnie! I will not let you harass me any longer!" I tugged free and began to walk away from her. "Stupid plastic bitch!" I shouted over my shoulder. Ryou, now looking at me, rose from his seat._

_"Nozomi...what are you doing here?" before I could reach him, or get my words out of my mouth I was tugged backwards once again and slammed into a wall. "Stupid bald bitch!" Rodnie's fist connected with my cheek bone, catching me by surprise. I fell into the wall, trying to hold my self up. I could hear Ryou's voice in the background, screaming my name. Children crowded around us, chanting the wonderful old chant, 'fight fight fight.'_

_No one would get the teachers, because then that would ruin their entertainment. I took another blow, this time to my chin, causing me to bite down on my cheek. I could feel and taste the blood filling my mouth. "This is for at the dance!" She shouted, landing a blow to my stomach._

_"This is for the name calling!" This time to my shoulder._

_"And this...this is for taking Ryou from me!" She raised her fist into the air, and I dazedly watched it. As if it was in slow motion. It slowly came down, aiming for my nose, to break it I suppose. I closed my eyes, not wanting to be there, not wanting to feel the pain anymore. Seconds turned to minutes and her fist never fell. I dazedly opened my eyes, only to gasp in astonishment._

_"Ryou!" I choked out. The sun glared into my eyes, making it hard for me to see. All I could manage to make out was white fluffy hair, outlined with golden light. Ryou gripped Rodnie's wrist, twisting it harshly till she fell to her knees whimpering._

_"Bitch!" he muttered, bringing back his foot and planting a swift kick to her side. "Ryou!" She screamed. A low, evil laughter emitted from his throat, and I knew then that is was not Ryou. Not my gentle Ryou bear, but my evil demon Bakura. Just as I was thinking this, and nodding off into nothingness, Ryou pushed himself through the crowd and knelt beside me._

_"Oh my goodness...Zozo...are you alright?" He brushed my bloody hair out of my face and stared down at me. I tried mumbling to him but couldn't make sense of the words running through my head. I did manage to smile however and reach up and stroke his hair._

_"I-I-I'm S-S-S-Sorry Ryou B-B-Bear." I managed to choke out, giving a cough. I looked over his shoulder, watching will happiness as Bakura began to punch Rodnie sense less, straddling her stomach as he did so._

_"Bakura." I grinned, still staring at him and his flying fists. Ryou glanced over his shoulder and frowned. "Even though I oppose violence...she disserved it!" He turned his attention back to me, linking his arms under mine and dragging me to my feet._

_"Come on Zozo...let's get you to the nurse's office." He took one of my arms and placed it over his shoulders, wrapping his free hand around my waist. I looked up and smiled as I saw the blush tinting his cheeks._

_"You are so adorable Ryou." I whispered, loving the way his face kept turning darker and darker. I turned away and heaved a heavy sigh. "Now is the best time...I'm sorry Ryou...It was all my fault. I know that you were just trying to help. It's just...it's me...It's not you. I'm the one that is stubborn and likes to take care of herself...please forgive me?" I was scared to look up at him, but couldn't help it. I looked up anyways. He paused in his tracks and stared down at his feet._

_"I accept your apology Zozo..." he then looked up, a smile on his face. "You know...Bakura is still beating the snot out of Rodnie...should we stop him?_

_And reader, I know this may sound evil of me. But I chuckled then shook my head._

_"Nah...Let Bakura have all the fun he wants. He's having a good time, and that's all that matters."_

_-Nozomi

* * *

_

"Oh ya! I'm bad, I'm bad, and I'm bad! I beat the living snot out of her didn't I?" Bakura puffed out his chest and gave an evil laugh. Ryou frowned at first then broke into a grin. "Yes Bakura...even though she ended up in the hospital and I got in trouble...it was all worth it."

Ryou nodded down at the book, as if it was Nozomi. "It was all worth It Zozo..."

Bakura tilted his head to the side and stared at his hikari as he smiled down at the diary. "Um...Ryou? Are you expecting an answer anytime soon?" Bakura raised a white brow, still staring at his dunce aibou.

Ryou glanced up and shook his head. "No...Just...talking to myself...in a way."

Bakura snorted. "ok, it's one thing when you're talking to me, because In a way I am you...but when you're talking to...yourself, well...That's some freaky mental shit right there!"

Ryou shook his head and gave a exasperated sigh.

"Yami's." he muttered under his breath.

* * *

**Ok, I'm sorry it took me so long to update...but I've been mega busy and I didn't have time to review this chapter, so there might be some spelling errors and mess ups. I just got back from Hawaii and I've been working on my garden. I'm leaving once again, this time to Las Vegas...Something I do every year...I go to see my grandparents. So, anyways, sorry for keeping you waiting...Just wanted to let you know I'm not dead...Yet...heh heh! Hope you enjoyed this chapter...and I felt it was kind of...rushed...but that's just me...any who...ciao!**

**Oh and if you haven't noticed, I changed my screen name, due to the fact me and Kiesha can't share a screen name anymore...so I decided to change it to YunieRyou..heh heh!**


	14. Chapter 13

Ok, I've had a lot on my mind...so, this may be jumbled...I thought it was, but if you don't think so, then calm my nerves and tell me...I tried to make this as long as I could...and don't worry..the story isn't over yet! XD

Until Chapter 13:

* * *

_March 21_

_Dear reader,_

_I'm no longer on Chemo. Isn't that wonderful news? They said that once again my cancer has backed down. Doesn't mean that it's gone for good. It could come back at any time. Hopefully not. I would like to just live the rest of my days in remission. And now that I and Ryou are not fighting anymore, things are back to normal._

_Today, after my appointment, I rushed over to Ryou's house, caring a stuffed angel under my arms. "Ryou!" I screamed as I climbed the fence. I jumped over, landing on my feet. "Ryou! I'm here!" I screamed, jumping to my feet and fixing my beanie. Soon, I wouldn't have to wear it. I would have a full head of hair soon, and I wouldn't have to worry about it falling out. It would be snug and tight on my head. It would be short at first, yes, but it would be MY hair. Hair. Ah, how I miss it._

_Ryou opened his apartment door and peaked his small little head out. "Zozo?" he asked, a smile creeping across his face. "Who is it!" I cringed a little, hearing Bakura scream. "Shut up Bakura!" I screamed as I neared their house. I tugged Ryou out the door and smiled. I gave him a hug then pushed the small angel into his arms. Ryou looked down at it with confused brown eyes. "What's this for Zozo? I don't have anything for you." He snuggled the angel to his chest and smiled up at me. "Don't worry Ryou Bear. It was nothing. Think of it as a very very early birthday present." I leaned back on my heels and grinned at him. Ryou just tilted his head to the side and smiled back. "Come on in Zozo. I and Bakura were watching T.V." Ryou pushed the door open and dragged Zozo in. "Bakura...Nozomi is here!" Ryou cried happily, shutting the door behind her. I wrinkled my nose in distaste, not wanting to be around the crazy lout. But then again, that crazy lout kicked the shiznit out of Rodnie. One good deed at least._

_Bakura gave a grunt, not bothering to even look over his shoulder at me. His eyes were glued to the TV screen, watching large men jumping on each other in a ring._

_"You know that's all fake right?" I asked, leaning on the coach behind him. Bakura just gave a grunt and continued to watch the false wrestling. I gave a sigh and rolled my eyes, not wanting to mess with the dunce moron. "So, Ryou. You still eating like you should be! Let me see your ribs! Actually, I shouldn't be able to see them." I lifted his shirt and inspected his chest and ribs. I pinched his skin and frowned. "You need to eat more..." I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the kitchen, planning on shoving as much food as I could into his mouth. I watched Ryou Bears face out the corner of my eye. I expected to see a frown, but instead I was gifted with a smile. Things were back to normal, and I'm grateful._

_Until later reader...

* * *

_

_Zozo_

Ryou smiled to himself. That day, he was so happy that everything had gone back to normal. Nozomi always fussing about his health and eating habits. She was always worried about how much he ate or didn't eat. She would make sure that he was as fat as a pregnant whale.

"So, did you work on your speech yet?" Bakura asked, leaning back and closing his eyes. Ryou sighed and looked up at the clock.

It was already midnight, and he only had two more days till it was due. And not to mention the funeral was tomorrow. "I'm working on it Bakura...Don't worry about it. Something will come to me." He pushed the diary aside, making sure it was safely tucked under his mattress. He need some sleep, because tomorrow, he was sure he wouldn't get any.

* * *

_April 10_

_I've done it again. I've waited forever to write. I've been so...occupied...But hey, you can't blame me. Me and Ryou Bear have been spending so much time together. Yesterday, we went to a family fun center. I've never had so much fun in my life. Me and Bakura, not Ryou, raced on the go carts, and of coarse, I won. The stupid moron didn't even make it around the first lap. I take it in his past life he didn't have cars._

_Then, me and Ryou went into the video arcade, playing many games. "Dance?" I asked, looking at the dancing machine. (_**I'm sorry, but I don't play this game, I do believe someone called it DDR, if not, then please correct me**_) Ryou wrinkled his nose then smiled. "Zozo, I'm not good at this game...You're better off finding Tea and playing with her."_

_I shook my head and grabbed his hand. "Live a little Ryou Bear. Try it at least." So, he willingly stepped onto the platform then waited for me to get ready. "Enter the coins?" I asked, placing my feet on two of the squares. Ryou tugged out two tokens from his pocket, then shoved them into the slot. "Lets dance!" I cried. Throwing my hands into the air and giving a scream of delight. Ryou giggled, then began to dance around, trying to hit the buttons he was instructed. I smiled and began to dance around as well, my short natural bob bouncing around my ears. Yes, my hair is growing back!_

_To Ryou Bears surprise, he won that battle. I kept tripping over my own feet._

_Afterwards, we went outside again and went on the water boats. This time I begged Bakura to come out and join us. I made sure I got him soaked to the bone, squirting him like crazy with my water gun. Ryou got me a few times, but I got him back. heh heh._

_That's about it reader._

_Zozo

* * *

_

Ryou straightened his tie and gave a sigh at his reflection. Yes, he looked good today, but for all the wrong reasons. Today was Nozomi's funeral. He was just glad that he didn't have to have a speech ready for this event. He didn't think that he would be able to stand in front of all those people and keep his composer. Just the thought of seeing her dead body laying all peaceful in her coffin, made him teary eyed.

"Suck it up Hikari...Don't start crying now." Bakura appeared in the room, wearing the same suit as his Aibou. "I can't help it Bakura. I miss her so much, and today, I get to see her again."

Bakura fell silent. He didn't know how this worked. Wasn't she already dead? How could you see her again?

"Come on Bakura. Let's go. Mrs. Haru is waiting for us out front."

Ryou stepped into the church and bowed his head. He didn't want to see the big scary coffin at the front of the room. "It's alright little Ryou." Mrs. Haru said, while patting his shoulder. Ryou looked up into the old woman's face and forced a smile. But the truth was, it wasn't alright.

Mrs. Haru lead Ryou down the isle, sitting him in the very font. "Little Ryou, fill free to cry." She cooed, handing him a travel size pack of tissues. Ryou took it gratefully, knowing that he would end up using the whole pack. He could already feel his tears well up behind his eyes. "Calm down Ryou." Bakura said throw their mind link, feeling the boys sorrow. Ryou shook his head, then wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. He needed to compose himself.

He looked around the room and almost fell out of his chair. Sitting across the room was Seto Kaiba himself, wearing a business suit and holding a handful of rose, making Ryou's daisies look pitiful. Next to Kaiba was Mokuba, who looked like he was having a hard time getting over the death of Nozomi.

Behind Seto and Mokuba, sat Yami no Yugi, Yugi, Tea, Joey,Tristin, Serenity, and Mai. They hall had somber looks on their faces, and held tissue packets like Ryou. Across from them sat Rodnie, wearing all black, including a veil. Ryou couldn't help but smile. Even Nozomi's enemies cared about her. Not that Rodnie was really an enemy, just a rival.

Tons of other kids from school crowded the room, boy admirers, teachers, and class friends. The room was filled with a sense of sadness, an air of depression. And it should be. Someone special had just died.

"Friends. Family. Thank you for joining the church today in this sad and sorrowful ceremony. Today, we come together to grieve the loss of a wonderful young lady, Nozomi Aiko Haru. Everyone, please bow your head in prayer."

Everyone bowed their heads, and clamped their hands together in prayer. Ryou lowered his head, but paid no attention to what the pasture was saying. His mind was too clouded with thought.

"May God acknowledge all her good deeds and give her admittance into heaven."

_Why did her body reject it? It was perfect match!_

"And may she look down today, and see all of those who love and miss her."

_She was getting better. She almost won!_

"May she rest in peace."

_I loved her...Why! Why did she have to die!_

"Amen."

_I tried so hard to save her._

Everyone rose their heads, and sat back in their seats. The Pasture began by speaking in Korean, then switching to Japanese, then finally into English. "Now, if you will please form a single line by the coffin. You may now pass by her for one last look."

Ryou shook his head of his thoughts, he hadn't been paying attention at all. That's when he realized he had tears slipping down his face. "Little Ryou. Use the tissues." Mrs. Haru whispered, pulling one from her sleeve and gently wiping his pale cheeks. She gave him a weak smile then stood to her feet.

"Come on Ryou. Let's go see Nozomi." Bakura whispered, now sitting right beside him. Bakura jumped to his feet and eagerly rushing towards the line. Somehow, Ryou rose to his feet, and waited till he was the last person in line.

When it came time for him the see her, his knees were already shaking. He was the last one, and he could take all the time he wanted. He squeezed his eyes shut, then slowly opened them and looked down. His breath caught in his throat and he took a step backwards.

* * *

_**Flashback**_

_"What's this for Ryou Bear?" Nozomi asked, fingering the small velvet box he had handed her._

_"This is a get better present." he whispered from his own hospital bed. Nozomi gave a weak smile and bowed her head. "I didn't get you anything." She whispered. Ryou shook his head then shifted in his bed. "You don't need to get me anything. I'm happy with just your smile." he gave a wince a little as he shifted his hips._

_"Thank you Ryou. You've done so much for me." Ryou saw the thin layer of tears filling her pale blue eyes and his smile faded. "Please don't cry Zozo."_

_"I can't help it. You've been trying so hard to keep me alive, and I can't repay you. And now, you've gotten me a get well present. This is all too much Ryou Bear!" She kicked her covers aside and slowly wobbled to her feet. Ryou gave a gasp and shot up in his bed, giving a groan of pain at the movement. "Get back in bed Zozo. You just had surg-" He was cut off when Nozomi rushed into his arms. "Thank you. Thank you Ryou Bear."_

_Ryou broke into another smile and patted her back in comfort._

_"NOZOMI! Get back into your bed!" the nurse yelled, placing her hands on her hips. Ryou giggled, then stopped when she gave him a stern look. Nozomi giggled as well, but then crawled weakly back into her own hospital bed._

_"Open it!" Ryou urged when the nurse left. Nozomi laughed then shook her head. "I don't like opening my gifts in front of people. It makes me uneasy." She placed the small velvet box into her lap and smiled._

_"Oh come on Zozo, for me?" he clapped his hands together and gave her a puppy face. She gave a sigh. "How could I resist that face?"_

_She opened the box then gave a startled gasp. "Oh! Ryou Bear!"

* * *

_

Ryou took a steadying breath and then a step forward. He looked down again, she was pale and peaceful, and there sitting on her chest was an envelope, with his name written in large letters. Around her neck, sat his get well present.

A small glass angel sat on a thin gold chain, with a note inscribed on the back of it's wings. 'With love, Ryou.'

"Take it." Mrs. Haru whispered behind him. Ryou looked at her and gave a nod. His hand, slowly and shaking, reached for the small note that sat on her chest. "Read it Ryou. She worked on that poem for years, and when she met you, she knew what to write." Mrs. Haru urged, giving a small smile.

Mrs. Haru pointed to the podium. "Please, share with everyone her words."

Ryou looked up and gave a shaky sigh. "I-I don't know." He stuttered, looking up in fright. Mrs. Haru nudged him forward, trying to convince him. "Nozomi would want you to." Ryou gave another shaky sigh, then nodded his had. "Alright. I'll do it." he slowly walked up the podium, then stopped to stare at everyone in the room.

"Everybody. Little Ryou has a note from Nozomi!" Mrs. Haru shouted, causing everyone to stop and pause. Ryou cleared his throat and stared at all the faces, all of them staring and waiting. He looked down at his pale and shaky hands, holding the small white envelope.

"Go on Ryou." Bakura urged through their mind link. Ryou nodded his head, and began to tear the envelope open.

_To my loving angel, Ryou Bear._

_I don't want to leave you,_

_But if God calls me_

_I hope that you understand_

_That I can't say no._

_I will always be with you,_

_If you keep me in your heart_

_And in your thoughts,_

_I will never be gone._

_I'm fighting with all that I have to get better._

_I hate this cancer,_

_I hate that it's hurting you._

_I promised you that I will be strong_

_And that I will fight,_

_But please understand_

_That if God calls me_

_I can't say no..._

_Dear Ryou,_

_Before I die, before I leave this world, I write this in my own hand. I have never gotten the chance to tell you how much I care about you, and how much you mean to me. You have always been here for me. Through my rough and hard times. You have been my light in the darkness. I'm sorry that I must leave, but I will always be here for you. I will be your Angel. Watching over you every day and every night. I'm sorry Ryou Bear. I truly am._

_I love you Ryou Bear. Love you._

_P.S. tell Bakura I love him too, just not as much! XD_

_Love always,_

_Nozomi...A.K.A. Zozo_

Ryou took a deep breath, then looked up. Silence filled the room, everyone staring up at Ryou. Mrs. Haru's head was bowed, a smile on her face and tears slipping down her cheeks. Ryou just stood there. Staring at the front row. Was he seeing things?

"Thank you Ryou Bear." The figure whispered. Ryou blinked. "Zozo?" She just smiled, then faded in light.

* * *

Ok, I was crying when I wrote this chapter...Just a note, the poem does NOT belong to me. Sadly, when I found it on the net, there was no name of the Author. No one famous, just some average American, but they didn't post their name. But at least I'm saying it's not mine. XP I just thought it would fit! Don't you think? Ok, read and review! 


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